When the Wind Blows

Spiderman

2009-11-07T12:33:00.001-05:00

So, I know this isn't a comic strip, but I wanted to go with my idea that came rushing through my head yesterday. Hahaha. I'm not very good at hands, but I hope ya'll this this is decent. Im happy with it I think, so I hope you are too. I was kind of hoping to get a cynical, creepy look to it, so i hope thats what I achieved.

The Adventure Comic Series.

2009-11-06T17:08:00.005-05:00

Okay, so I've decided to do something new with my blog on account of the inability to write about the life I'm not having. I've got a lot of time on my hands and recently purchased a tablet and have been trying it out along with this illustration software called GIMP. Boy is it ever confusing, hence why I didn't opt for the very expensive (GIMP was free) Adobe Illustrator.

I just wish these programs were writen in lamans terms for people like myself who aren't experts. But in anycase, a few years back I was really into comic illustration stuff; mainly pen to paper--so I think I'll start recreating them on the computer with this fancy tablet. Though, I haven't figured out how to change colours in this damn program, so bare with me with the boring black and white until I do.

The picture is just basically a roughly sketched montage of the many characters I've created over the years, and will continue to become the characters of my up and coming comics. It's pretty messy but I haven't learned the tricks of the trade yet on sharpness and that, but soon, soon you will be amazed. Maybe I can inspire you with my lack of skill, comical creativity. Either that, or make you gag.

Alright. I'm off to play around with my tablet; become one with the tablet sensai.

Cheers.

Dig that garden up and pray the monsters don't come out from your closet.

Paper Toss

2009-10-24T16:56:00.005-04:00

Realizing that your 9 month old computer is a piece of crap: $900 dollars; sitting there for hours with your dad trying to figure out a solution: 6 hours of stress; watching your 65 year old dad entertain himself with Ipod games; priceless.

Ugh. What can I say, computers are crap. After experiencing four crashes in three days; after doing system restore only to find out it made things worse; after re-installing my whole operating system and starting from the beginning; I'm still trying to get this crap up back and running.

I got's me a banana

2009-10-21T02:03:00.006-04:00

Heck, has it been that long? Have I become unexcited with the writing of blogs? Bah! I didn't think I'd ever join the D Lister's of bloggers; not that I was ever an A Lister, in your world anyways.

It's been almost a year yet I've got not much to say. It hasn't been as epic of a year as I'd hoped; I thought I'd be an astronaut by now or something; traveling to the moon and being all space like. Shucks, what stellar thing shall I write about to entertain you folks with; shall I tell you about the muffins I made today? They were quite delicious. They were banana-nut-oat-chocolate-chip-wheat-can't-eat-just-one-unless-you're-being-health-conscious-which-isn't-my-best-asset muffins. Tastey. But eating them right out of the oven is never a good plan because the flavours haven't absorbed so it inevitably ends up tasting like fire would (or fire wood, ha. take your pick). Yep, as untastey as fire. Shiz. Reading this is probably as terribly as watching your grandmother shower, so I'll try to move onto something more interesting.

Hmm, what's more interesting than muffins? Oh, how about a top 10 list. I've really always wanted to do one, but for what? OH! My life the past year. Good one. Though I don't know how many readers I've still got out there. But let me check: "Hello out there. Can any of you read me?" Silence. Sigh. It's what I figured, but hey lets just pretend you're all still out there and give this a shot.

10. Finished my third year of University with flying colours (even though I don't really know what that exactly means, I didn't see no rainbow)

9. I didn't get pregnant. That's always a winner in mentioning.

8. I purchased the miracle of entertainment; an Ipod touch and baby, it's bitchingly awesome.

7. I got re-hired at that fabulous camp I worked at later, but didn't win over the guitar playing hunk of hubba-hubba.

6. Adopted the words "epic," "romantical," and "stellar" in my daily vocabulary of musings

5. Felt the pain of washing my phone in a load of laundry. Sure I got a clean smelling phone, but it didn't work-what's the use in that! Pft.

4. Broke my leg at the end of my summer job tripping over a pile of shoes, what up Murphy's Law

3. Worked on the autocraphical book I'm writing. Though it's the best crap I've ever encountered.

2. Realized that a secret identity on blog sites doesn't work when you're excited to show friends your posts

1. One that I'm not happy about, and it does not deserve to be in the place of #1 : I caved and got a bitching twitter. But since you know now, give it a shot, be my bitch and follow me! www.twitter.com/monyyas...

Alright, so let's see if this new start to writing this blog again kicks off.

For now, don't forget to tuck your pillow under your bed; dust mites are for sleeping.

On another note, I've gotta get better material.

Don't forget your number

2008-12-03T23:22:00.006-05:00

So, I definitely haven't posted for a while mainly due to no inspiration and the sad fact that my so-called-life has become as dull as the the knives in my kitchen. In any case, the most exciting thing that has happened in the past week was the two coat check shifts I picked up thanks to my sister. Sure, it's not the most glamorous job, but it makes me quite the bit of cash without any full commitment, and I get to do whatever my big heart desires in those boring 7 hours--not to mention the fact that I get to regale you with the encounters of my coat check patrons.

The two nights combined into one; in the sense that I'm not sure what event's transpired on what night; what I do know though is that I very quickly learned to address people by the brands of their coats. It's like being in someones closet and checking out how much money they actually spend on their clothes. For me though, I'm not big on spending $300 on a scarf ,$140 on cashmere gloves, or $900 on a coat of any form. I'll tell you who is though; Mr. Burberry Jacket. Yes, that's right. Mr. Burberry owned a long navy blue Burberry coat, decked out in gold plated cuff links. He came about once or twice to grab his jacket to engulf his lungs in tobacco and in the end left me a very shady $2 tip. It's not much for me to grab your coat of fthe hook, twice but you can't fool me into thinking $2 is all you can spare at an open bar event Mr. Burberry; I know you're a wealthy man and that your pockets can spare more than $2.

Along with Mr. Burberry was his friend Jones New York. Adorned in grey wool and black trim, the Jones couple didn't quite sit still on their hangers. Was it that they were made with too much fabric and too heavy for the hangers, or was it that the hangers were not made well enough for the couple themselves? I believe it was Jones New York who left me a very generous $5 tip at the beginning of the nightwhich I was content about, considering he claimed his wife's jacket a half dozen times to join in with the other tobacco filling lungs outside.

Among the nameless coats lay a handful of Danier Leathers. Oh the trouble they gave; falling off the hangers, bending the hangers, breaking the hangers and taking up too much room. Between this group of coats, the tips were average; $1 here, maybe $2 there. Sure, again I don't expect much, but they're just a handful of trouble I tells ya. The reason they're so heavy is cause their pockets are full of cash meant to give to the coat check girl. Though, I'm not sure they were ever aware of that. Tragedy.

I would however like to give a shout out to the husband of the fur coat who was very stealth in handing me his tip. $10 dollars baby. Of course it was because his eccentric wife enjoyed filling her lungs with tobacco every hour. But let me tell you; Mr. Husband-to-the-fur coat slipped the 10 in my hand as I passed him his wife's coat and with the nod of his head, walked up the stairs and into the darkness. He pretty much made up for the dozens of people who left me nothing in my poor little tip jar.

Of all the coats and all the brands that I observed and all the cellphones that were left in pockets that went off throughout both nights, it was the people themselves who were really something. Where to start of course is the question. The first thing that comes to mind is the handful of people who lost their tickets and though describing their coats would suffice; surprisingly I seemed to remember the faces with the coats of many people, but yet still had some trouble.

One guy; who I need to mention was very attractive, lost his ticket. Now, he was one to remember considering he was very intoxicated. I asked him to describe his coat and he was barely able to articulate his words. He asked if it was cool if he came in to my booth and at first I denied him entrance , since I was very protective of my booth. It made me feel important and I couldn't risk him coming in and messing up my coats!! I mean, what would the world come to if coat # 750 came after 767???? (hahaha) Anyways, I kept asking him yes or no questions figuring it was a better method in his state, and in the end pointed to the coat I believed was his only to be denied. Upon letting him in, surprise surprise it was the right coat.

Among him, there was another guy who walked into the booth without asking, looking for his coat as if it was his own home closet (he ran off at the beginning of the night before I could hand him his ticket). I suggested that he step out and I that I would take care of it, since he was throwing my whole zen off, but he insisted rudely that he would look for it. So ,I stepped aside and waited until he left. Rude, or what. Maybe more like aggressive actually.

Ohhhh. Talking about rudeness, some woman who had helped plan the event, stored her purse in the coat check booth along with her coat and entered and existed the booth as she pleased. I didn't mind as much since she needed to, but what did tickle me in the wrong way was when she put her glass on my drawing/doodle that I was working on (which everyone who came to retrieve their coats was impressed by). She didn't even notice or apologize when she took her glass and left her dirty napkin too boot! Luckily it didn't stain my drawing, else I might have mixed up her coat to get her back; what a pickle she would be in--even though I would probably be the one getting it for her in the end.

So, this drawing that I did started from a doodle, but turned into something apparently impressive. Mr. Suave came by a couple times to get his coat and on the second time noticed my drawing and was impressed. And in his drunken manner began to discuss how he too is an artist; but a musician while trying to hold up a meaningful conversation. He inquired as to why I drew what I did and I replied saying it was whatever was in my head. After 10 more minutes of meaningless and drunken discussion, he left for what I thought would be the night. Soon after he came back and told me that he wanted my drawing; I didn't think I would care at first, but I had grown an attachment to it within those short hours and he realized that but still tried to coerce me into giving it away; "artwork to another artist" were his words more or less. He told me he was going to go for a smoke and come back and expect to have my drawing signed and dated. He was a pretty weird character, consdiering he kept addressing me as "delicious." "Hey Delicious, whats up; hey Delicious, whats that?"

In the end I decided I would give it to him, even though I was somewhat attached to it--but I felt there wasn't any point creating art if it couldn't be shared. But he never did come back, which really did make me happy, because it meant I got to keep my drawing without any form of guilt.

Im sure there are more stories but I'm too tired to think about them. If I do, I'llbe sure to post them. I've got another boring shift on Saturday, but I'm sure it means more stories. Anyways, below is the doodle I did during that weekend and beside it, what I've worked on since.

Cheers
So as you can see, its crappy-ish
and the lines aren't so clean, but
I was doing it on my lap. I like it
though.
<----

This one is a bit cleaner and sharper.
Same idea though.
ps my scanners kind of low budget.

Rythmic Dillussions

2008-11-22T19:01:00.009-05:00

And it’s weird because the power of music illumines feelings in me that nothing else or anyone else ever could. On a constant basis I’m listening to my melodramatic tunes; feeling the vibrations in my head; letting the words linger throughout my mind and body; on the bus, at home, in the car—the music follows me everywhere. It has and continues to be a space where I can feel however I want, think what ever I want and be whoever I want. I believe it’s fair to say, that music fills each of us and transpires into a million different meanings at different points of our lives

needIt scares me when I realize though, the power music has over me. How it can prompt the emergence of tears, of laughter, of empathy, of sorrow, of excitement and of craziness—and by craziness, I mean the times I breakout in dance moves in front of my mirror; that’s right, no shame.

to It’s every so often that I find a song that shakes me to the core. Today it was “Ballerina” by Leona Naess. Unless you want your mood to drop, don’t listen to it. It’s a beautiful song really, just a little gloomy, yet somehow I can’t turn it off. My life—well lets just say it’s a little ironic in the way it works; in the way I work; in the way my head works. When people are feeling down, they’ll usually fill their heads with the musical vibrations of happy sounds—the likings of Andy Kim’s “Sugar, Sugar” and Debra Cox’s “Beautiful U R” –and the many more that I currently can’t recall. For me however, it’s quite the opposite.

yellFor this city girl, it’s mellow music that I would rather, that I need to listen to in order to get through whatever the hell I’m going through; which on a weekly, daily and hourly basis can be what I seem to think is a lot—mostly concerns with the missing and broken pieces of my life’s puzzle.

out It definitely sounds like I’m depicting my life is a tragic life story; it really isn’t. It has its great parts—the parts I am so thankful to have and the parts that lead me to turn on my gangster beats in appreciation. But everyone longs and wishes for what they can’t have; and everyone hopes and dreams that things come to them sooner than later, and I’m no different.

loudTruly though, what I’m getting at is that it jolts me that I can’t find an answer to why we feel such a special connection to music. It’s relatable to everyone—which is the simplest and only answer I can come up with. Any other views and answers that I’m missing out on? One thing I know for sure is that I definitely wouldn’t be able to get through life without it.
someIt’s a bit of a dangerous object though I think. It manipulates us, breeds actions and adds both unnecessary and necessary larger-than-life effects to daily events. For example, in films where individuals are on their deathbed and hand in hand with their loved one sitting beside them, the scene becomes ten times more effective when Enya’s “Only Time” comes on, than it would be without her soothing sounds. The music combined with images captivates the hearts of viewers and causes their tear ducts to emit uncontrollable tears—at least for me anyways. And in reality, something that can seem so little like a small and meaningless fight between friends can turn into something with much more of an emotional effect when you turn on a mellow track before bed.

placeIf life had a soundtrack, wouldn’t each action of life seem more—for lack of a better word—epic? Your first step; your first dance; your first successfully baked pie; your first rainy day kiss; your first child—would all prompt the perfect song to be played filling the space surrounding you in each of those larger-than-life moments.

to Music becomes a space where your heart accelerates its beats and where your fingers can tremor in life’s emotions. It’s a space of freedom and creativity.

call There’s an immense amount of beauty in music; in its words, its melodies and its rhythms—that is no lie. It can transpire into whatever you want it to be; it can relate to the best things of your life one day and the worst things the next.

mineIn essence, I guess part of me just loves the mysteries and power that music holds. Sometimes I wish I could be the main character in certain songs; where things always work out four minutes later. But for now, I think I can deal with taking my music in stride and being just an average city-girl.

The Last Day of October

2008-11-05T20:15:00.002-05:00

Witches and Warlocks; princesses and princes; beauty’s and beasts; ghouls and ghosts; superheroes galore— some of the many Halloween costumes the kiddies came to our door in this Halloween. Innocent two; three; four; six; eight; ten; thirteen and then-some-year olds slipping on their dresses and from their over-sized batman masks as they climbed up the stairs. How cute they were with their big bright and toothless smiles pleaing not so much for trick, but instead treat. As kids swept the streets and pumpkins illumined pathways in neighbourhoods across the city during the early hours of the night, the hours that proceeded later weren’t so innocent and candy filled. Instead, Halloween transpired into a very different scary story in downtown Toronto where the nightlife was filled with Jokers and Mob Men; Pimps and Hoe’s; De-clothed police officers and jail bate runarounds; naughtier-than-naughty devils and less-than-angelic-angles.

Halloween is a day to look forward to all year round; not more than Christmas but more than Valentines. Oh, and definitely not more than Thanksgiving, but certainly more than Easter. It’s an excuse to dress up in anything or as anyone without looking crazy—for the most part. And for all the men in the world, it’s the one opportunity they have to dress up in girls’ clothing without having their heterosexuality questioned. The most enjoyable but challenging part of Halloween is deciding the night’s attire. Most individuals wish to dress as something creative, but fun; original but recognizable; sexy but not slutty—and again I stress, for the most part. Lastly, there are the few that wish to scare the skivvies off—if they’re not already off—of everyone else around them, by dressing in the goriest of gory attire possible.

BOO!This year F, L and myself decided that we would uniform ourselves as flash dancers/aerobics instructors for Halloween night. We were initially thrilled about it, considering we would get to wear tacky fluorescent colored clothing, headbands and leg warmers—though it seems they’re today’s current fashion anyways. As enthused as we were about that idea, it came and went when we thought of dressing as fire-fighters. F was on the fence about joining in our crusade, but in the ended joined forces as a sexy and gorgeous police officer along with M who was the cutest bunny of all and LS who kicked it into gear with her cowgirl attire.
Did ITo bring a touch of inner pizzazz to our costumes, L and I decided we would adorn our shirts with wording on the back that said “I put out” and on the front “Fire,” though I was the only one who followed through in the end. Originally, the shirt would suggest a failure of innocence on my part (which for the record, I totally am innocent) but then would disappoint upon turning around. Unfortunately my theory did not work out as planned. Instead, my suggestive shirt prompted the most horrid and cheesy lines from a handful of boys which included: “So you put out the heat eh? Well I’m the heat,” and “You put out fires right? Well you better hurry up and put me out cause I’m on fire.” Near the end, I had given my shirt too much credit and decided to brush the cheese of with some wine, and began responding with “Fire? Where? You’re definitely not on fire,” and “You don’t look like the heat.” Horrible I know. I’m really not that mean, I was just served way too much cheese but I won’t deny that I asked for it (but so did they!).
scareAnyways, our original plans for Halloween went astray considering our usual pub was packed and left no room for us to move, dance or breathe. Surviving it for no more than 45 minutes, we rushed out of there and headed to one of our favorite dives; McDonald’s. Sure, a bunny, cowgirl, two fire-fighters and a police officer in McDonalds wouldn’t seem like the picture perfect place to spend Halloween night, but it was. Those fatty fries and deliciously fake burgers were a blessing in disguise as they permitted us to avoid the crowds of confident and nearly-naked girls who took ‘sexy’ to a whole new level (if you know what I mean), and to avoid boys with the utmost unoriginal pickup lines and whose concern was to retrieve their ‘deserved’ assets. As much as originality wanted to be attained by all individuals alike (including myself but failed for my lack of creativity), and though the “Where’s Waldo’ costumes would be of utmost surprise, most had the same goal in mind; to dress or undress in any which way as Halloween offers the only night that justifiably provides that opportunity.
you?Next Halloween, I’d like to as me at age seven; dressed up as a big orange pumpkin and as happy as can be, skipping from door to door with my huge candy filled pillow case.
heheThe sad truth is that when you grow up, Halloweens aren’t filled with toothless smiles, bags full of candy, happy innocence and elementary school dances. Grown-up Halloweens are instead filled with bodies immersed in a sea of “sugar”, spice and not so much nice.

Ugh.

2008-11-03T23:35:00.002-05:00

And the only reason I'll be happy if my University goes on strike is because I'll be able to get back to this; my pride and joy; my sanity.

Don't get anywhere. Tune in later this week for what will be epic entries.
Love.

Story-book-endings

2008-10-01T19:47:00.005-04:00

Looking back at my childhood—which seems much further away than it actually was—I remember how my dad always used to bring home Disney movies from the store below his work; classics like Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella, Snow White and of course the Lion King, most of which we still have in the cabinet downstairs. And I remember how as a kid, every year for Halloween I wanted to be a princess just like the ones in those movies and I wanted my happily-ever-after ending to include the perfect prince, in the perfect castle and the perfect pea-less mattress. I know it sounds cliché; the idea of every little girl wanting to be a princess ‘when they grow up,’ but it was what my little heart desired every time I sat 5 inches from the television with images of unicorns, princesses and princes, kings and queens, magic lamps and talking candles, filling my little head. Even into my teenage years I was excited to walk down the hall of my high school and accidently drop my books, only to kneel down to pick them up and knock heads with the boy helping me—the boy who would be my prince charming. It wasn’t until shortly after I realized that that was never going to happen that I began to appreciate the perks of what I call reality.

justReality definitely doesn’t hand us things by the snap of our fingers or the rubbing of a non-magical lamp. Much of the time we have to work for everything we want in life and most of the time it involves blood sweat and tears. There are those days we hope the wishes we made upon those shooting stars come true and the days we wish that we’d wake up in the midst of a fairytale. There are those days we curse under our breath at the things we hate about our lives and then there are the days we scream in excitement. All in all though with all that being said, I’ve come to realize that reality has its own epic story-book-ending.
one Sure, I would love to never stub my toe again in the kingdom of ‘Never-Getting-Injured-Far-Far-Away.” And I would love to be able to have my own fairy godmother that would dump a bucket of cow poop on the heads on my ‘evil sisters’ upon my request. But then I think about it and I see the perks of the reality that is my life. Stubbing my toe sure hurts a hell of a lot, but it’s the only time I can get away with hopping on one foot in the middle of my school without looking like a crazy goof. And sure, having a fairy god mother to teach my evil older sisters a lesson or two would be convenient, but then I wouldn’t be able to take advantage of the ‘little sister’ role (even at 21) and think up amazing pranks; like sticking raw eggs and onions in their purse. And if I couldn’t do that, what benefits of being the little sister would there be?
cityBelieve me when I say that looking into a crystal ball and seeing my future—like the contents of my exam; if I pass my road test; if I end up getting anywhere successful with my degree; yata-yata-yata—would be brilliant because then I would know what steps to take and what steps to avoid. But if life was as easy as a crystal ball, I wouldn’t be able to say to myself ‘damn girl, studying all week for that test really did pay off.’ Nor would I be able to get really excited when I unexpectedly pass my road test and take a deserving and glorious victory cruise. Or in the worst case scenario, have a cry fest and have my parents justifiably comfort me if I fail. And amazingly enough, not knowing if my degree is going to get me anywhere in life also doesn’t seem so terrible because it means that I get to have the days I regret, the days I realize I did the right thing and the days I realize that the 50 hour work week I have, with all its paperwork and tears, isn’t for me.
girlIn the land of happily-ever-after, instead of being stuck on transit or in traffic, I’d be able to ride in a crystal carriage throughout my kingdom with my two beautiful white horses leading the way—not to mention a handsome and prompt carriage driver. Even as great as that sounds, it means I would miss out on my very own and first low-budget-always-stalling-barely-gets-me-from-A-to-B shit box of a car. It would also mean that I couldn’t join the crowds of people bellowing about the insanely and impossibly high gas prices. Now what fun would that be?
realOf the things important to a my life and to a measure of my happiness, living in the Land of Far-Far-Away would be amazing considering I would get to pick my prince charming out of a book of the most handsome, witty, and intelligent bachelors of the kingdom. My love life would be set and my story-book-ending would be the ending every little girl dreams of when they grow up. But then I think about it and I realize that if I had that option, love would be way too easy. I wouldn’t be able to go through the handful of guys I’ll meet in my life who’ll end up breaking my heart, but in the end teaching me something new and valuable about myself. I wouldn’t be able to throw a drink in my guys face when I see him flirting with another girl at the local pub. Nor would I be able to have my prince run after me when things go down south because in the land of happily-ever-after, going south doesn’t exist. Furthermore, in the land of reality when my perfect guy finally comes along, I can happily and politely inquire (as my friend quotes) ‘Where the fuck have you been?’
lifeSo sure, reality isn’t story-book-picture-perfect and sure we can all do without the stubbed toes, blood, sweat and tears, but we’ve got to give reality credit. As the writers of Grey’s Anatomy say; reality is far more interesting than happily-ever-after.

The herd of the subway

2008-09-24T01:02:00.010-04:00

So unfortunately but unavoidably true, my life as a young-ish city girl includes me being a student for the next few more years to come. Sure, an education comes in handy in this day and age seeing as you now need a degree to get anywhere in life—anywhere that will allow you to live and not starve to death from low-wages. And though the classes and the readings are barely manageable and in the interest of complaining, the many other aspects of University life are not. As riveting of an experience North American movies and television programs display, the reality of University life is far from a candy coated walk in the park. It might surprise some to know that my University isn’t the size of 50 American high schools. And shockingly my tuition isn’t paid for by a rich mommy and daddy. And sadly, my life doesn’t include the gorgeous-tall-dark-and-handsome-football player-hunk of meat-jock of a boyfriend. Worst of all, I didn’t get that convertible Cadillac for my birthday which means I am left to find my own means of transportation; the deadly, terrifying and defying Toronto Transit System (shocker). A city girl on city transit; doesn’t sound too bad I’d say. Has a little bit of a ring to it eh? I could even have my own theme song: “Waking up in the morning, ready to go, she jumps on the bus and away she goes. She’s just a ciiittt------tyyyy giiirrrrrrlll.”

The problem itself isn’t with the city buses and the stench they give off. Nor is it because the seldom times I get a seat it’s covered with dirty tissues, coffee cups and already been chewed gum. It more so has to do with the masses of pushy, inconsiderate, ‘no-time-to-stop-and-smell-the-flowers’ crowds of people. Unbeknownst to you, I am pretty petite; of the animal kingdom, I would probably be described as a monkey. Sure, it’s awesome most of the time because you know what I can do that you can’t? Fit through small spaces. And that comes in handy during those times I feel like climbing through the vents of buildings. But you know what I can’t do? Escape from mobs and herds of people who are 6 feet tall and engulf me in their mob like formations. Sometimes I wonder if the kids from Jumanji re-pulled out their game board letting a herd of animals out to run the streets of Toronto. Stupid kids. Either that, or I’ve been stuck in a scene of The Wizard of Oz because all I see are lions, tigers and bears; oh and elephants.
justWatch out for the lions, the kings of the herds covered by mountains of stuff; things like IPods’ and Blackberry’s; backpacks and purses; snacks and books; and even rude looks. Their eyes will be focussed of all on their stuff and they'll move through the crowds leaving you in the rough. Then there are the tigers, fast as can be. They’ll rush through the crowds leaving dust in their tracks. Trip you they will and push you they will; they stop at no cost as if time might get lost. Among the herd also lie the bears. These species are an interesting one as they are much less aggressive in their actions. But beware their lingering behind you, their tracing your steps and the assumption that they have no harm in mind. Be quick with your mind and with your feet or you're sure to lose your seat. The last member of the herd but one of the most common is the elephant. Resembling zombies from the common day horror movie, this member of the pact moves inch by inch unsure of its destination. Stopping dead in its tracks not sure where to go, standing like a brick wall all-to-and-fro, your likely to run into them with your head under their toes. Now this is a caution, for those who didn't know, the herd of the subway lives down below. So watch as you step on to the TTC, for you must ride with caution or pay the fee.
acitSo,So, now that you've heard about my daily encounters, I ask: what is the monkey of the herd supposed to do when riding the TTC, when all she wants to do is get to school without being pushed into subway doors, without being pushed to the ground, off the escalator and out the door? What is a city girl supposed to do to escape the pack of animals that is the transit system? Unfortunately there is nothing I can do, unless you want to start a trust fund for a old school Cadillac Convertible. Or maybe, you would like to be my personal chauffer? I would even settle for a personal body guard; you can be my cheetah and get me through my life of city transit riding, safely, quickly and un-annoyingly. Either that, or you could find the kids who opened Jumanji and threaten to take their candy if they don’t burry that game deep down to the ground.
girlThe best case scenario would be for the hunter of Jumanji (Van Belt?) to shoot the herd of animals with tranquilizers, that way they’ll slow down and give me enough time to get to school without their impedance. Unfortunately though, like I’ve said before my life is not the movies, and will never be (‘tear’).
I guess until my monkey stature comes in handy and until I can find vents in the subway to crawl through, I’m stuck using my non-puppy-dog eyes and my non-aggressive monkey claws. So for all lions, tigers, bears and elephants, I’m sending you a message; beware because one day this monkey will be ready to go ape crazy.

So-Called-Life

2008-09-20T17:06:00.005-04:00

Whoever said that burials are the consequences of illness,
murder, personal choice and yata-yata-yata, forgot to
mention that books also place a severe threat on the life
of students in todays day and age.

So, in case you were wondering, if you didn't already figure it out; this past week I was buried 3 times. No, they weren't your elaborate funerals with people dressed in black and in tears. The burials didn’t occur on a freshly-cut-green-grassed graveyard nor were they followed by receptions with food and shared memories. Instead, these burials involved caffeinated beverages, pencils, paper, unorganized workspaces, bitten nails, major snackage, headaches and countless “No, I can’t see you tonight but maybe we can take a rain check for like, a year?” Instead, these burials were adorned with Post-it date reminders, page reminders and ‘life’ reminders. Instead of being spruced up and placed in a coffin, I was bejeweled in sweatpants, a hoodie, a headband, smeared make-up and bushwhacked hair (hence the head band). My coffin, two of the three times was replaced by my disheveled excuse of a bed and my unorganized excuse of a desk.

If you haven’t already figured it out, which I hope you would’ve, my burials were ‘thanks’ to school; more specifically, my endless book readings. Yes ladies and gentlemen (no I’m not saying it to make you feel old) this young-ish city girl was buried by her books. Let’s imagine how my obituary would look in the Toronto Star; "Young girl, aged 20 found buried by her books. Suspects include 'An Introduction to Women's Studies' and 'Contentious Politics.' If anyone knows the whereabouts of the suspects, please contact the University bookstore immediately."
cantUnfortunately but devastatingly true, this is only the beginning. I get to look forward to plenty more burials for the next 8 months of my so-called-life. I’m hoping they’ll get a little more elaborate over time in all honesty. If I’m going to go down, I might as well go down with a big bang. Optimists would say that on the plus side (ha!), these are probably going to be the only free burials I’ll have in my life. Though if you consider payment in all its other forms, I’ll soon be broke as I’m losing my stock of sanity, sleep, energy and patience. Hmm; I wonder if those would be considered renewable at this point. I always say that at the end of every semester I’ll gather my books together on the beach and set them on fire at which point, I would do a riveting river dance around their erupting pages. But that alone would require too much energy which they’ve taken from me. The one good thing though would be that since they robbed me of my sanity, a city girl burning her books on the beach wouldn’t look so crazy (right?).
justThe solution to saving my sanity, gaining sleep, and pretty much my life back would probably be ‘trying my best’ and ‘doing one all-nighter that will make me caught up.’ Well I’ve got news for you buddy (and by buddy I mean the one that they call ‘encouragement’) my life does not mirror the movies. Even if my best friend Sally tells me I can do it because she believes in me, I can’t; it is mentally impossible. No, I can’t wish for a fairy godmother, or in this case a fairy bookworm. And no, my brain will not suddenly function better and absorb readings faster if I prayed to the man upstairs and promised to not be a ‘hell-raiser’ (Bart Simpson I am definitely not). And, yet again I have more disappointing news. It is not ‘a hump I’ll eventually get over’, its more like a never ending road with bumps and pot holes, and squirrels—lots of squirrels; little evil ones with huge beastly eyes. I call them professors.
try I am aroused by the assumption that 400 pages a week is doable (and no, sadly that is not a large exaggeration). Now, if I was a retired, people-phobic, extremely nerdy person, then maybe it is. But then I would be the ‘crazy book lady’ on the street. In all non-seriousness though, don’t sue me for saying I like to have a life outside of school that involves less brain ‘stimulation.’ Actually lets change that ‘less’ to ‘fun’. Maybe that’s the remedy to my tragic current ‘life’ story; more fun for the professors. That way they’ll have less time to think about how to take every part of their student’s lives away. So I guess that means that I’ve got to go to the dollar store and buy some tidily-winks and skipping rope and plan ‘meetings’ with my professors. I’ll tell you what, I’ll buy the shit and you buy me some time. Deal?

"Never waste your money on a new dress, for a date that doesn't matter"

2008-09-17T00:03:00.002-04:00

So you think you're ready to
re-enter the dating scene? I
thought so too, but it seems
it's still the same.

So since my last break up, if you want to credit it a full relationship, I've gotten pretty nervous about re-entering the dating scene. For new comers to my blog, in the interest of time; the boy I had liked, and who had liked me back, for years finally asked me out earlier this year only to break up with me two days before I left for my job in London, Ontario. Let me tell you, there's much more juice in my previous blogs, then in that last sentence.

justAs a young city girl in my third year of University, I definitely enjoy having something stable in my life, like a man. Something tangible, that I know thinks of me differently in a way then my friends and family do. So, like any girl, I'm hoping my prince in vintage armour will come along, and 'touch my soul'. Well, let me tell you, going out to clubs and going on date's with the boy's you meet there, will not lead you along the path. And I knew and continue to know that, but I was subdued by the charming, criminal justice, rythmic moves of said boy just under two weeks ago. Sure, we danced the whole night; he bought the drinks; I took his number as his phone was broken; I left; he made me pinky swear to call him, and the night had thus ended with memories of a fantastic time and bruised feet.

a As promised, I took the first step and called him telling him I wouldn't be able to make it out the next night to which he invited me, to engage again in a night of dancing and drinking and yet another club he worked at. Sure, I thought it would end there, but to my surprise, Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Handsome-Basketball-Team-Member-Criminal-Justice-Major-Community-Lifeguard, called me the following day saying I owed him a date that following Friday since I "broke" his necklace with my long and apparently destructive hair. Unconvinced that this 'date' was going to occur, I continued to 'get excited' during our hour long conversations that continued every day throughout the rest of the week.

cityWe talked of our families, growing up, favorite foods, favorite music, favorite places to shop. We added each other to facebook and stalked one and other immensely, only to comment on pictures we thought we're "cute" and "fucking sexy." And so this continued until Friday where we met up and went to dinner and drinks. Naturally before, I bought a new outfit for a new fresh start on the dating scene. As for our date, he did all the right things; bought the first round of drinks, bought the movie tickets, called me his date when his boss asked him to work, put his arm around me in the line up, but his hand through mine at the bar, put his arm around me during the movie, stroked my arm, brushed his face against mine, gently kissed me--alright. We all know that isn't the truth, the last part I mean. We'll just say that, our lips interlocked for a length of time we'll say is irrelevant, for my sanity.

girlWe road the bus as far as we could together and as I rushed to get off at my stop, we hugged and he cooley winked and again the night had ended like the first night we met--minus the bruised feet. So all in all, I told myself it went well considering he had plenty of opportunity to bail out, but instead continued to make moves throughout the night.

on Feeling good the next morning, I got up to check my facebook, slash creep on my dates' page only to find that he didn't exist anymore. Logging into my best friends account--as we all have each others passwords for emergency purposes--I search his name only to find that his existence was only extinct on my account. I then realized that I hadn't gone on a date with a man, I had gone on a date with a boy. A boy who obviously didn't know how a date works and what not to do if you don't want to follow through with your datee'.

the I realized that my attachment to the first night we met, the conversations we had; the what-I-thought was a great date, to the maybe-this-has-potential, was nothing but my own head being distracted by nothing but a tall-dark-handsome and experienced card player. There was no turning back to the sequence of events that had been dealt; he wanted to cut me off because apparently our date had not been good enough to even keep me as a friend. I guess it's what boys do though right?

prwlUnfortunately, this not-so-storybook-ending stor, doesn't end there. Said boy called me Sunday morning, half asleep acting like nothing had happened since Friday. Upon asking about the deletion of Facebook; upon the continued lies he told me about de-activating it; upon me telling him I was able to see his page through my friends accounts; and upon him parting for work, he continued to lie which was the worst part. I couldn't understand the meaning of both his actions; the deletion and then the phone call as it wase an oxymoron within itself. The story ended right then and there and I was still convinced that he was just a boy.

boo!Whether or not it had potential to be something; whether or not I reacted 'wrongly', the ball was in his court. But I guess his basketball skills really aren't that great as his card playing skills.

For now this city girl, is on the prowl, though she's not looking for boys, she's looking for men. They just need to come out of hiding.

And it screamed, come back.

2008-09-16T00:01:00.000-04:00

After a long departure, and seperation from my dear child, also known as my blog, I've returned. I've returned with new ideas, a new outlook and a new idea for the styles of my blogs.
For the readers I've lost, I hope to get you back. For the readers I will gain, get excited cause I might blow your mind, or de-flate it.

Time to crack that blog.

Cheers mates.

I'm still alive..somewhat

2008-06-26T20:53:00.002-04:00

So I've not been posting cause I've been out of town for my job and am now on break and before that, I was busy dealing with emotions, commotions, and everything else that comes with tough times and dreary eyes.

Mmm. I was tagged ..but I don't have my books with me, they're all away at my job. Sigh. I'll bring one back, or do it there if I get the chance. In the mean time I think you guys should..Mmm, wait patiently for another post of mine? Bake me a pie? Tea bag that sty? Make your enemy cry? Or crawl away and die. NO! Don't do that, please. Ok. But I am beat, and therefore am going to go out and party the night away on my day off with my good chums.

On another note, some people can be simply amazing. It's amazing how a person you hardly know can make it feel like you've known them forever.

And for the rest of them, who aren't simply amazing, learn something from the people that are.

"Dance until you cannot dance. "

Eat that soup and cool that shirt.

Cheers mates.

My life, right now.

2008-06-19T03:55:00.002-04:00

"The best part of chaos is its recursion."- Jimmy.

Open Wide.

2008-06-15T15:35:00.003-04:00

They say that the purse contains the life of a woman. What's in it can make or break a woman's day. If she forgets something it can spell disaster. I know for me, I just throw about anything and everything in my purse if I think I'll need it that day, and if I don't have something I need, it gets flustering. With the new hobo bag style purses which I've definitely been sporting, its no question that things get lost in my purse and that on any given day I'll find myself a surprise, that I once upon knew about. Anyways, enough of me rambling, and lets get down to the juice.

So I was cleaning out my purse today and I thought it would be interesting and funny to blog about what I found. So ladies, and especially gents, get ready to experience the life of a woman; her purse.

The Wallet-- Nothing to interesting about that, credit cards, I.D., very little money.. You get the idea.

Sugar Packets- Lantic Granulated Real Sugar Packets. I can't remember when I put them in my purse, how long I've had them for..but I think I remember why I did. I think it was because sometimes my coffee isn't sweet enough, so I thought it would be smart to keep them on me. Though, from the looks of them..they have been in there for quite the time which means they've been pretty much useless.

Shot Glass- Wow. I totally forgot about that one, seeing as my purse is huge and filled with crap. Must of been from like a party I went to, where I thought they wouldn't have shot glasses. Good ol' purple shot glasses. Good thing I took that out though..don't want anyone thinking I'm an alcoholic : P .

Bank Transaction Sheet- Dated Jan. 14- Apparently I withdrew 40 dollars. Interesting.

The Ipod- Nothing weird about that, I definitely don't leave the house without it.

A pair of socks- Oh. thats totally from bowling. Cause I wore flip flops that night and I didn't want to put my bare feet into nasty, but cool looking, bowling shoes. They probably need some desperate washing.

Mini Lint Remover- Bough that just a couple weeks ago. VERY handy when you have 2 cats that shed like ...mm wolves?

Mouth Wash- Mmm. Thats pretty nasty actually. I got it like a REALLY long time..it was a sample size and I've just never taken it out. I think I actually used it once after I ate something and realized my breath smelt like garlic and had no sink and toothbrush around. '

Sunglasses- Definitely epic for summer time.

Camera- Never miss a moment.

Lip Gloss- No Comment.

Lighter- Nah. I don't smoke..but sometimes someone needs a light and Im the one who has it. Plus I figure if I ever get lost in the woods, (how? I dunno) I could make my own fire and survive..hopefully.

Bottle Opener- Eeek, with the shot glass this isn't looking too good. Ehn. Its attached to my keys and it was FREE : )

Advil- Never know when you'll need that, along with Band-Aids.

Receipts- Damn. Too many of them. Lets see: I've got one to the LCBO for $19.45, a Greyhound Bus receipt for $20.27, A Rexall Pharmacy for $4.99 (Lip Balm), and another one to the LCBO for $5.05..tall cans I think.

Ooo. And It looks like that was all of what was in my purse. Now to figure out what'll be trashed and what'll stay. Hope you enjoyed that!!

Cheers mates.

Leave your impression: Here.

2008-06-12T11:30:00.005-04:00

I was up north the past couple of days, the area to be kept a secret, but I went up north to hang out with him and his friends. Being a city girl, from one of the busiest, nosiest and cluttered cities in the world, the "country" was definitely a nice relief.

It made me remember just how beautiful Canada actually is. We would like drive through valleys and mountains and be surrounded by trees and rocks, and all I kept saying was "Wow, this is gorgeous." Course I think I came across as a little lame, since I was amazed by trees...but it is because you don't see nice big clusters and mountains and hills of beautiful, green, tall, pine-y smelling trees in Toronto. What you do see is random, rotting trees strategically placed to create some sort of attractive look, which is far from what it displays. Anyways, I was amazed by trees, and hikes and water this weekend and it really made me remember what I miss out on.

Anyways, the trees were so nice, but I guess this blog is more about first impressions. I met all of his friends this weekend, and when I say "all," I mean all. They were all really nice. Jimmy, I had met a few years ago but only for about 5 minutes, and since then have been like really good MSN buddies. He's that smart insightful guy I've mentioned a couple times in my blog. But anyway's I met him for the second and a much longer time this weekend..and I guess with him and the rest of his other friends, Im wondering what kind of impression I made.

First impressions are actually very scary. I mean, they told me they really liked me, even before alcohol got involved, but I guess the question I have is: How can you be sure that the first impression you make, is the right one?

Friends are like a really important part of keeping something going, and I just want to make sure that I can fit into his life. Like with Jimmy, there in the flesh it was a lot of fun and I felt like we clicked really well, just as well as we clicked on MSN. Mind you, alcohol was involved so I don't know if that played a part. But then I didn't have the most enticing conversation with him yesterday, like we usually do. That could be because he left the cottage at like 5 in the morning to work at 7, for an 8 hour shift and thus was tired. But I still wonder if that in person, first real impression changed anything of what he thought about me.

Jacks other friend, Katie added me on Facebook, which I guess is a good sign; right? Even still, how do I know that it was a good first impression? Furthermore, why am I so propelled to impress his friends?..

I tried to play it pretty cool. At first I was a little shy, didn't really involve myself in their conversations, but then as I felt more comfortable, I began to like open up, and I felt like I was within their group of friends. Even still though, I wasn't as crazy as them in terms of jumping in the lake at odd hours of the night, mainly cause of my own insecurities.

But I just hope they thought I was as nice as I thought they were. Other than wondering about my first impression, I had a blast. Up north is just so....cute.

Cheers mates.

It seems, Dinosaurs aren't extinct and are now speaking up.

2008-06-05T03:18:00.011-04:00

The number of television programs and commercials that run on a daily basis is far out of reach from counting. Of course, different programs satisfy different consumers needs and different consumers are targetted at different times of the day.

It's no doubt that nearly everyone will be slash has been educated on the idea of "target audiences" at one point in their educated life; and it is no doubt that those who have, have come to understand that the day, distributes its programs wisely.

Through the early hours of the morning, whilst the parents prepare breakfast for their children, and youngins sit anxiously in front of the tube, they are presented with The Sesamesteet of all Sesamestreet childrens programs. From Dora the Explorer to Barney and Friends, to Baby Einstein, these run until the kids are sent off to school. Then of course the rest of the day is laden with Soap Operas and talk shows for the stay at home parents and soap obsessed, summer off teens. Once the day has melded into evening, the news begins and the more racy shows with "Viewer Discretions Advised" begin to appear; such as MTV.

For all of those unfamiliar with MTV which I'm sure is very few, MTV hosts silly, very silly reality shows such as My Super Sweet 16 in which a spoiled teens are celebrated with 100 thousand dollar birthdays and a fancy BMWs to boot. But that is another blog within itself. Amongst the unreality shows of all reality shows, they host an MTV live segment where few of the many hosts they have, along with audience members discuss the 'important' issues of today. Things like who got a boob job and who didn't?; Who was seen with who, and who wasn;t? Among those, they also showcase popular bands, which I have to say is my favorite part of the segment and the main reason I tune in.

Now, the reason Im writing about this, in this blog is because of something I was a little annoyed about today. Firstly, I must mention that everyone knows that MTV is a racy show in itself. And if you don't, there are many "viewer discrestion advised" notices after each commercial break. Noting that, one would suggest to expect things like profanity, some nudity (to the extent that is allowed on TV) slash everything else that can be classified as racy.

Well, apparently not many people seem to take the discretion notices seriously and feel the need to complain for what they were advised they might see. MTV has something called "Viewer Feedback" where the public can write back and discuss things they don't like that have been on the show. So today, I was watching and a viewer by the name of Mr. Dinosaur (I think) wrote in saying that they were not pleased in the least to see bare butt cheeks and that MTV should respect that the people watching may not want to see that. The exact words can be confirmed by watching the re-run of that segment, which'll air again this week..as it always does, over and over. Anyways, I don't have a problem with this dinosaur man stating his opinion, but in all seriousness, a bare butt isn't that bad. As well, Mr. Dinosaur man shouldn't have been watching MTV since the discretion advised there may be things he might not like. Furthermore, a bare butt on MTV, yesterday wasn't the first day.

I guess too, the point I'm making is that if Dinosaur man had a problem with MTV showing one of the crews members bottay (who had two faces tattooed on it; some prank pulled by MTV), I surely hope they wrote into the dozens of other programs and movies that have showed frontal nudity and bare bottoxes. Though Im sure Mr. Dinosaur man wouldn't have a problem if it was a ladies bottox.

Anyways, I guess the point I'm trying to make is that people feel the need to complain and make a statement slash blow everything and anything out of proportion. It's like Bharat said, the people who eat McDonalds and become overweight want to sue the corporation, even though it was their actions that lead them to be in that state. In this case, its Mr. Dinosaurs man choice to watch the program, noting the discretion, therefore he shouldn't complain. So if Mr. Dinosaur man ever reads this, I have one thing to say:

Grr. Grr to you and your complaining, and welcome to 2008!

That is all.

Zip those buttons, and button those fly's; until next blog.

Cheers mates.

TAGGED.

2008-05-28T00:54:00.008-04:00

There comes a time, in every bloggers life, where she must sucumb to people knowing things about her, she may not want them too...because she's been TAGGED! Yep. I have been tagged, though its good to know I have friends on this thing, as tairebab's mentioned, ahem who is also the one who tagged me! Thanks : P! So I think this is how it goes, I post the rules:

1. link the person(s) who tagged you (done above)..I think.

2. Mention the rules on your blog

3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours...

4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them…

5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged...

Okay. And now the quirks, though I don't know of these would necessarily be considered quirks. Here goes.

1. I hate people touching my feet: I've no idea what it is, but I hate people poking at my feet, my nails, massaging them, anything to do with them really. I've never gone for a pedicure for that sole reason--> I do my own. I'd rather be the one touching them than have some person have their go. It's not even that Im ticklish, which I am, but I think its more like them having my feet makes me vulnerable to them tickling them? I dunno. OH and I'm not afraid of feet or anything in general. I don't mind feet on my lap, its just my feet. I want them left alone!!

2. I sleep anyway but vertical on my bed: I've got a double bed, and Im not tall or anything, and its got about 6 inches of ledge together, on both sides of the bed. So usually I wake up and Im diagonal, or horizontal. It feels to weird to sleep vertical cause I feel like the rest of the bed is a waste of space....Yup.

3. I make up random words and throw them into my every day vocabulary: Yeah. I don't know what it is, but random things come up in my head, where I throw together like two words and make them one. Sexcellent is a good one. Why I don't use excellent? No Idea. Oh and when I wanna say "lets leave" I say "Lets scatter." Though I guess since scatter is a word, It doesn't count..so I guess I technically insert words into sentences that might have better words to use, but EHN. Oh and I say "hey mange" instead of "hey man"..

4. I make unintended puns, but then ruin them by pointing them out, when I realize I've made them: It started as like, a joke between me and my friends, of who could make the least noticeable puns. Since then, I make puns without realizing it, but then I feel all cool and ruin them by pointing them out. Sigh. Bah! I don't know why, but I think cause most of my puns are funny, and I like to get a laugh, and sometimes they're too subtle, so I make them show..which defeats the original purpose of a pun..if that makes sense.

5. I get ready in my skivvies (can I say skivvies?) and to loud music: Yep. After hitting the snooze button 5 times over and savoring every last minute in bed, I wake up, throw on the undergarments and open itunes and blast my music. Maybe dance a jig too, I won't lie. I do my make-up in them, brush my teeth, eat breakfast, fix the hair, etc etc. When its like, 5 minutes before I go, I throw on whatever looks comfy and head out the door.

6. As much as I re-arrange my cork-board in front of my computer, I never take anything down: I rearrange that cork-board a couple times a week, to pretend Im making it look more organized, but the truth is it would look a hell of a lot more organized if I took things down. Per example. I still have my sheet of paper from months ago that has important reminders. Note:

Dentist- Sat, Feb 9, 12:00

Doctor Appt- Tues, Feb 19th, 3:15

Interview: Tues, March 11, 7:00pm

Oh and I've also got a note from my best for valentines, one from my b-day, which was like 6 months ago, my driving schools business card, which closed way back when, unbeknownst to me, but thats a different blog, a quote my friend once said a while ago, another business card, a picture of sheep...some music pamphlet I got in my City and Colour CD case. ... yep.

I hope those were all considered quirks. Hmm. Now I guess its my time to tag some of you folks. Hmm. Who to tagggg.....

Alright, I've decided.

I like his blog, and therefore would like to know more about the blogger himself, so :

1. Early-late-night

2. Bharat

3. Half the fun is planning the plan

4. Taxitalk

5. Secret Blogger

6. I'd say Quarter past seven, but apparently you've been tagged! Hmm. Im gonna think about this one for the rest of the day..and then post my last taggeee later.

P.S. I will get blogging soon , back to some sort of regular schedule, before I head off in three weeks and my blogs become even more distanced! :o!! OO. But as for anything going on in my life, nothing really of importance, Sex and the City movie tonight though. WOO. what fun.

Alright, taggee's , quirk away!!

Cheers mates!

The People You Meet Uptown

2008-05-20T22:27:00.005-04:00

The people you meet uptown are apparently the same as the ones you meet downtown; interesting. Though this time the word interesting includes: asshole behavior (can i even say asshole?)

So the other night me and four of my girlfriends were coming back from somewhere--can't remember from where--but we decided to hit up good ol' fatty Mc'Ds. It was like 12:08 at this point which meant that the dine in part of the restaurant was closed and Kelsey had to use to the bathroom, really badly. We saw a group of kids sitting at a booth by the window, and I use the term kids to describe their behavoir, cause they were definitely old enough in age to have not acted the way they did.

Anyways, Kelsey had to go to the bathroom and the doors were locked, so we started to signal to the group of kids that she had to go use the loo. We did everything from making the letter P with our fingers, mouthing it, acting it out. They totally understood too, but were playing stupid and shrugging their shoulders laughing. So we figured we'd type it in our phone and put it up against the window.

We wrote: Bathroom. Open the door please?

They wrote back: Cop a squat. Then proceeded to laugh and ignore us.

We started banging on the door and the manager finally noticed us and let us in after merciless begging. So while we were waiting, the kids came out and it went like this:

Us: Wow. Thanks for the help.

Girl A: Awwkwarrrd.

Guy A: Uhh what. I didn't understand what you were saying.

Us: We texted it.

Guy A: Oh. Well I was like why would 4 girls have to go to the bathroom.

Us: There's 5 of us.

End of story. We went to our car, they went to there's. We wanted to flip out at how arrogant, rude and immature they were, but we're not the kind. They must've been high school students because as University students ourselves, I've never seen that from people our age, or I would never think to do that.

I mean, to be rude and immature like that is really unnecessary. Even high school students should be mature enough to open the door instead of acting stupid. I'd give them kudos if they tried and the manager wouldn't let them, but don't just sit there and laugh and think you're better than us, cause you're not. If we had done the same to them, we'd not be better, but the fact that we wouldn't do something like that, that's what makes us better.

Grr. The thing that makes it worse, is that the bathroom is a very personal thing. If a girls gotta go, she's gotta go. For all you gents out there, I'm sure its a hell of a lot easier to get your business done without a toilet, but for us, it ain't.

Anyway's the people you meet uptown are no different from the people you meet downtown, they're all interesting.

All in all, I tried to think back to when I was in high school and I really hope I never did anything like that.

Until next time, chose those chocolates wisely, cause you never know what's inside.

Cheers mates!

Person to Person

2008-05-17T14:58:00.002-04:00

It's amazing what a small world it is and it's amazing how many people we meet over our life time. Walking down the streets, it's likely you'll run into someone you've seen before, met before, or can consider yourself as "knowing them."

I've been thinking about how people think about others, when they think about them, and why. I don't think I speak for myself when I say that I think of certain people more than others and at particular times and situations. That got me thinking further; Does every person have a person?

What I mean by that is that I have someone I think about, a lot. I think about that person when Im eating my lunch, wondering what they're doing. I think about that person as Im typing this blog. I think about that person when Im listening to music and walking down the street. If I have a person I'm thinking about, am I somebody's person? Do I have a person who thinks of me the way I think of my person?

Say my little hypothetical theory/question was true, and every person had a person; wouldn't it be nice to know whose person you were and when and what they were thinking about you? But then again, what if you weren't someone's person? Does that mean you're not special enough? That there's not something great enough about you to be in someone's thoughts?

On another note; I don't think the idea of being somebody's someone or having a someone is fixed. I think its ever changing and changes at different parts of your life.

I guess another question is; what makes a person special enough to be that person?

Cheers mates!

Life in Black and White

2008-05-13T23:18:00.003-04:00

Haven't really had anything terribly exciting to blog about lately, hence no recent blogs. Im serious though, the most exciting thing thats happened the past few days has been finding a freckle behind my knee. Actually at the time I was really excited. Pathetic eh? Ehn. Im not too picky. Oh and I lost my credit card, but then found it at the last place I ate, tucked away in their safe Fun.

Hm. I got thinking today about pictures, like photographs. Well I wasn't actually thinking of them; they more or less, got me thinking. Black and white pictures are probably my favorite pictures of all. Even capturing moments of a night on the town; much rather have them in black and white, for many reasons of course. The first being that many of your flaws are hidden, especially when you higher the flash exposure thingy. Love myself in black and white I have got to say.

It got me thinking though, how much easier life would be in black and white. Like that movie..Pleasantville, I think. Never would you have to decide what colours to paint your walls; what colour shirt to buy; what colour curtains, etc etc. And your choice of favorite colour would be in the range of blacks, and grays and whites. Oh, and life would be so much more epic, and classy looking.

Too bad photographs are the only way to live life in black and white. Boo.

Until you stop panicking, win that lottery.

Cheers mates.

the people you meet downtown

2008-05-11T00:55:00.003-04:00

The people you meet in downtown Toronto are interesting. Interesting is a good word to sum up the weirdos, the creeps, the freaks and the o.k. ones.

My two bests and I decided that Wednesday was a good night to party. Why? Well because its the middle of the week and we all weren't working the next day. What's more fun?

So, naturally we pre-drink:

9:30; p.m. we start

10:30; we're not done.

11:30; we jump on the subway and header downtown.

During the subway ride the alcohol started kicking and we all had to use the bathroom. I'd say something like pee like a race horse to really describe the urgency of our situation, but that's not lady like. Anyways, you get the idea. We'll with our luck there were no bathrooms at our stop and being a Wednesday night and after 12, all coffee shops, most bars, fast food places and the like were closed. All of us moaned in grouchiness since we all were in desperate need for bathroom utilities, that we contemplated using the streets. Course there are many problems with that:

a) totally not brave enough to do that

b) didn't want to get a ticket, with the many cops down in downtown toronto hiding behind bushes.

c) Gross.

Luckily we found a bar that was open, ran in only to be stopped by the bouncer at the front who checked our ID's. Done and done; we all ran downstairs to use the utilities. What's funny about that bar is that it's the same bar we went to for one of our birthdays, in which we borrowed each other's Id's at the same time, right after each other. How it worked; no idea. We all look nothing alike. But in any case it worked.

Moving on to the actual title of the blog; the people you meet downtown are damn interesting. The first group of guys we met seemed to be from everywhere but the city. Im talking about 3 lovely gentlemen from Britain (gorgeous); a group from Orlando on Vacation and I think one from like Pittsburgh. Though I could be completely lying about the last one cause my memory ain't fresh.

There was another group in the second room of the club; big group of friends (a few were actually from the city and then some from outside the city) decided that us three were going to be "their" girls. By that I mean, they bought us drinks. Lots. I guess they were friends with the bartender or had connections cause the bartender kept lining shots and drinks up for us, courtesy of them; I of course didn't mind, after having to pay 20 dollars cover. A night of free drinks would be something anyone would love.

Course I was watchful of roofies. Anyways, they we're probably few of the less 'interesting' guys, which was definitely a good thing. Though there was some weirdo who had his hair all emo-fied and gave me his business card to his hair salon. He said he'd make a special appointment for me. What the hell does that mean. At that point I walked away.

The night was ending and we were talking to the bouncers when this one old guy walks up to my friend and asks if she smokes weed. My friend never having done so, said no. He further went to ask if we smoked weed and she replied that we had but don't do it on a regular basis. He offered going back to his place to "smoke some weed." Many problems with that; seriously we're not going back to your old ass place and we're not those type of girls.

So, at that point we decided it was time to leave. Naturally after a night on the town we get street meat. Nothing beats good ol' vendor dogs. Being our first time to that club, we decided to ask these two fellows (who we thought we're cute at first. Tall, dark and handsome) if they knew where a hot dog stand was. Im talking to the one guy and this is how the conversation goes:

Me: "hey do you know where a hot dog stand is"

Him: (I swear)

Me: "Excuse me? Don't even say what you're thinking"

Him: "What am I thinking?"

Me: "I don't even wanna know"

Him: "Do you want to give me something??"

Me: "Uhm. No."

For some reason we proceeded with them as they offered to walk us to the one on Queen St.

They seemd nice, except for that one loser comment, but I was still a bit tipsy which meant that I brushed it off. So we're walking and it seems Queen St. is never going to come but finally it comes. My two friends got their dogs and Im getting mine. Mind you this hot dog stand SUCKED. It didn't have any of the fixins. All it had was ketchup, mustard and bbq sauce. I was hungry though, so the BBQ sauce did. While I'm paying, my friends chatting with the one brother and all of a sudden I hear her say:

"Uhm. No. I don't know what you're thinking, but we're not those kind of girls. So you guys should just go."

After them leaving, we asked her what happened. Turns out he asked if all three of us wanted to go back to his apartment to get it on with him and his brother. What the hell. Seriously?

Up until that point, the night was pretty stellar.

But seriously, the people you meet downtown are either weirdos, creeps, freaks or losers.

Until those balloons stop popping, clean that window.

Cheers mates.

I wish I could read minds.

2008-05-09T23:28:00.001-04:00

Do I call you babe now?

2008-05-07T23:18:00.000-04:00

Jack said what I've been wanting to hear, what I've been hoping to hear: He likes me : ).

I feel like such a school girl. I mean I know we both liked each other, but we felt like keeping things the way they were would be best; on a physical basis. Though that was more him than me--I was too much of a chicken shit to say how I really felt though... But then, the other day he told me how he was kidding himself in thinking he didn't like me.

Obviously my first reaction was to call my best and tell her the conversation we had, since I was literally at a loss for words and apparently he was too. Me talking to my best meant leaving him hanging after he said: I've been thinking I really like you, for a whole 7 minutes. Shit, I thought. I mean, I didn't want him thinking I was freaking out, which I was, but he wasn't allowed to know!

When I say freaking out, I don't mean that I was scared of his forwardness; it was more like me being scared of opening myself up and saying how I actually felt. It was weird though because it was a really delicate conversation. We both put our feelings out there and we we're like trying to figure out what's next, like if we should actually try out a relationship.

Thing is, he said the last time we we're together, that it felt right. God was I glad to hear that, only because it what I was thinking the whole time. Yeah, I felt crappy about me being a vending machine he snacks on, but the fact that he said it felt right, really makes me think that he wants more than that.

Thing is, Jack lives to hours away and none of us have our own places. Living with my parents, I know that the rents would flip if I had a guy stay over. Im not sure what the situation is with him, whether if I went up if I would be welcomed by his parents to stay a couple days. But the long distance thing is definitely going to make it difficult. It's thrilling to think that we're dating, but its conflicting cause its like as tangible as it isn't. For example, the other night when we had that conversation, he drove two hours in the middle of the night cause he needed to see me. As great as that is, it scares me because I'm going to get to the point where I want to see him when I want but cause the distance is an issue it makes things that much harder.

There's potential to make it work, with me being able to stay with him on my days off from my camp job, if his parents permit. It's only been a couple days so I'm not going to over-analyze. Im gonna live in the moment and I am going to enjoy the ride. What's most important to me, is that he let his feelings spill and knowing how a person feels about you can be the greatest prize of all.

Take a dive to cool your skin

Cheers mates.

Eye see nothing.

2008-05-06T23:23:00.003-04:00

I hate optometrist appointments. I had one today, cause I'm far-sighted, well..which ever is the one where you can't see far away. Anyways, mainly an issue for university lectures. Oh, and I have a random frekle on my eye, which they are careful in watching..I guess. In any case, I had one today scheduled for 2:15. I got there 20 minutes early and by 2:15 the doctor called my name, telling me to go to room number 2. So I did.

Anyways, the main doctor I guess put an eye-drop in each eye, without warning me. Kind of sudden, I'd say. So the first set of eye drops made my eyes feel like they had coins embedded in the lids, which wasn't helped by her shining lights into my eyes.

She had a resident student who was there to learn and she kept asking me if it was alright that he took a look in my eye. She started quizzing him on things about this random freckle and he was getting the wrong answers I guess. Anyways, he asked me if it was okay to look in my eye and I was like Sure why not. I thought I'd make a joke, so I said; It'll be like an episode of Greys Anatomy where the resident has to guess the medical symptoms. I thought it was funny. The student thought it was funny, but the little arrogant main optometrist didn't.

I guess you can't win them all.

Point of the story: I had two more sets of drops, to dilate my pupils, bothered the hell out of me once I hit outside, the sun light and junk. Oh and I looked like I had smoked a splif.

Fun eh?

Until the wagon stops rolling, catch those apples.

Cheers mates.

Dreaming of the odd.

2008-05-05T14:34:00.004-04:00

I've been having an insane amount of weird dreams the past few nights. As I'm writing this line right now, I'm worried I'm going to forget what they're about. I can't quite remember what nights they occurred on, or if they we're all in fact in one night.

I guess I'll talk about the first one I remember..

I dreamt about my mom and my dad and some other people that I can't remember right now, which might mean its not important to mention. But we were all up in a hotel room having a party (egh, partying with the rents) and it was a big room; typical room, two beds, a washroom, a big balcony and a rather spacious room in general. Anyways, there we're definitely people my age, I'd call 'em kids, but I'm not really a kid. Though, it could be appropriate since my parents were in the dream and I am their kid.

Anyways, we're all sitting down and all of a sudden we hear shootings. So we look outside the window of the balcony, and by we I mean, through my eyes and all of a sudden there's two people beside me, who it seems are on our team, fighting to save us, even though the debacle was really between them and the opposing shooters. So they're shooting and the feeling I had was obviously fear, fear for me, my mom and dad.

At one point, the room was hit with a bullet I guess, and it started to crumble. The balcony was falling, breaking in half, the room had separated in half. I think at that point I was running around, trying to get people to jump off the balcony to safer ground. And I remember looking over at my dad, who was sitting so peacefully in a chair with his eyes closed. Mom was safe, though I can't remember where she was, but the feeling at that point, I remember it being calm. But dad wasn't. I ran over to him, jumping over that gap that had been created from the separation of the room, and he was life-less. It freaks me out to even write this part over cause I hate thinking about it. His face was warm, but he wasn't there. His eyes we're closed and he was just gone, leaving us with like this weird calm, serene smile.

Mom had been there, doing something, but someone told me I had to leave dad and save myself and everyone else. I can't remember what happened next, but what I do remember is the opposition team getting closer to our balcony and I was all alone with the shooters on our team, so I ran to the bathroom and locked the door. At one point, I thought it was safe to get out, so I did and our shooters said they had defeated the opposition, I guess they meant killed them.

And then I was back in the bathroom, with my mom hiding and the gun man suddenly entered. And he was like, pointing the gun at us and all I remember was starting to cry and asking him to not harm me or my mom and then he like laughed and said he wouldn't and walked out the door. Next, I was behind our shooters and they had gotten the oppositions outside our room, well half outside, de-armed them and we're about to close the door and lock it. But then the opposition had slipped a coca-cola label on the ground, stepped on it and then left.

All of a sudden it was like an episode of like CSI where, they zoom into the label and see all of its mechanisms working, etc etc. So it was like zoomed in and then all of a sudden my dream ended with a big explosive boom.

And thats when I woke up. What it means, I have no idea.

My second dream isn't as vivid in my mind..but I dreamt about Jack and Jimmy (Jack's insightful friend). I had decided to go up to one of their parties, that seemed to be in some sort of recreation hall to see Jack and to re-meet Jimmy. I remember walking in and being a little dis-oriented with their friends I've heard of, but haven't met.

Anyways, I had like passed Jack and he didn't even say hello or acknowledge that I was there. I figured I'd go up to him later, but for now just rummage through the mounds of people. I had met one of his friends, who had this girlfriend who was like hand in hand with him on the couch and I sat down and started talking to them. All of a sudden, a girl from my high-school (in the real non-dreaming world) came up and introduced herself and this guy who had the gf right beside him, started to flirt with her and make-out with her. Really bizarre.

After that I left the couch and went over to some other people and I just remember looking over my shoulder and I saw Jack laughing. Him and his friends we're looking in my direction and laughing at the top of their lungs. Then I went to the bathroom to shed my frustrations and I remember lifting the toilet seat, but there was saran wrap on it. Luckily I had noticed it, but then all of a sudden some guy barges in and starts laughing saying it was a prank and that he almost had me. ..

That's really all I remember of that dream..weird or what?

I dunno. Dreams are as cool as they are weird, but it would be so nice to know what they actually meant.

Weightless Birds.

2008-05-03T23:40:00.001-04:00

Alcoholism is the only disease you can get yelled at for having.
"DAMNIT Autto, you've got Lupis"
"DAMNIT Autto, you're an alcoholic"

- Mitch Hedberg

haha. Thought I'd throw in a joke that came up around the table today, that is leading me to blog. If you've not heard of him, Youtube him, a.s.a.p. Seriously, stop reading my blog and go to youtube! Sadly, he's dead. Way to put it subtly eh? I pretty much suck at that. But still, go youtube him.

Anyway's before I get on with typing my head down on paper, for all those who we're concerned in the blogging world, I am feeling much better. I am no longer dizzy, my necks still stiff as a branch, but I guess its what I should expect from falling of a couch and blacking out. But anyways, back to today's early blog.

I was out with my mom and my sister tonight, to a movie and appetizers afterwards, which was really nice because I've been so occupied with myself, my friends and my thoughts. It was nice to just sit down and talk. We talked about how my mom and dad met, for like the 10th time. We talked about having kids and why my mom had as many as she did etc. etc. It was really a good conversation. I thought I knew my sister and my mom like the back of my hand, but course I didn't. I don't mean that in a bad way, not in a great way either. Hmm. Well, without giving too much about myself away (though, I've already failed with that), my mom got into talking about me having kids. And well, I've been through a medical journey. Nothing crazy serious, though ask mom about it and she'd say it was. Let's just go with, I have had my share of broken legs, from weak leg bones, yeah lets say that. But Im all over with that stuff, meaning I don't hold it against myself and feel sorry for myself, etc.

Anyways, mom got talking and the sister got talking about having kids, one day (years and years down the road) and they reminded me that I'd have a 50 percent chance of passing on what I had to my kids. It floors me to talk about this though now, cause I am only 20 and well I'm not living in the generation my parents did, which means I'm definitely not having kids soon, at all. But anyways, my sister asked me if I'd really have a kid if they we're gonna go through the same thing I did, and my response was damn well I would. Obviously, I can understand that what I went through would be hard for the people around me , that knew me, but my kid having to face that, I could deal and it would only make them stronger. Cliche much? Its what my parents taught me.

My sister said that she would not have a kid if she knew it had to go through that, or anything else. I looked over to my mom, and I could tell she was thinking the same thing, in the sense that she wouldn't want something like that to be repeated. I get it. She's a mom, she had a hard time with her emotions and me and hospitals and doctors, and tears. I really do understand, but I mean I would not stop myself from having a kid because I am prepared to face whatever life throws and Im ready to help my kid get through that too. I hope thats not coming across as selfish, but I wouldn't be able to do that to myself. It would mess so much more with my concience to not have a kid because there would be a 50 percent chance of medical problems, than to actually have a kid and deal with those challenges.

I have nothing against what my sister and mom (what she said with her eyes) said, but it just made me think about the person I am and want to continue to be. I don't shy away in the face of new things, different things, challenging things.

I just, feel like people these days, everything is about simplicity and convinience and same-ity. Same-ity; my word, for a lack of a better word, to describe how people are afraid of something different in life, different shoes than anyone, a different hair style, different interior designs etc.
I feel like people take the easy way out; walking in a straight line, instead of around the corner. I dunno, couldn't think of a great example, though if I did have a better one, I'm pretty sure it would be an epic point I was making.

Anyway's like I said, its about a decade away, maybe a year less than that, even though I don't put time gaps on anything, but its likely it is a long time away. But it got me thinking, which led me to blogging. It's off my mind, kind of.

Oh, and now that I am feeling a lot better, I can actually take time to read my favorite blogs, which I've missed oh so much.

Pull those socks up and don't crash that pumpkin.
Cheers mates. : )

Blacked out: ice cold.

2008-05-02T21:13:00.002-04:00

A couple drinks shot down, music playin; naturally I get on the couch with the buddy and jump around. We're havin' a fun time, alcohols a brewin but Sally decides to get off the couch, and before I can follow boom. blackout.

Yes. I fell off the couch, hit my head on either a bottle or the wall; something that made a boom and blacked out for a couple seconds. I woke up with my friends around me, head spinning, seeing stars (so to speak), head pounding and thinking I was paralyzed. Naturally I was scared, therefore not moving, then trying to process what happened. Once I did that, I tried to move, and luckily I was A.OK or so I thought. I was a little shook up, but continued to party, throwing back more drinks. After getting 2 hours of sleep, we walked to McDonalds for a 9'oclock breakfast and I went home only to pass out.

Now I was feeling the pain. My back, neck and shoulders were aching. My head still spinning. I nearly fell on my ass from washing my hands and looking down. This was after like 9 hours of sleep, which definitely means it can't be the hangover. I slept it off.

So I was getting freaked, and still am freaked that it could be a minor concussion, since I did blackout. Right now, its considerably difficult to keep my eyes glued to the screen cause as mentioned my head is spinning like a winding wheel. I definitely can't walk it off cause I'll end up on the floor. I've been drinking water and eating sugary snacks hoping I'll feel better, but its been nearly 24 hours since the fall and maybe 8 hours since the symptoms.

I've pretty much realized that I'm an idiot, for dancing on a couch with alcohol in me, and will no longer do that.....goooooo me.

In any case, I will definitely see a doctor tomorrow if my symptoms persist. Ooo . What fun.

Words of advice: never dance on a couch.

I'd write more, but I can't focus like I said and Im totally out of it.

Keep it hot.

Cheers mates.

Thats on a cold windy day.

2008-05-01T00:22:00.004-04:00

I hate it. So much. I hate that, I like put up this guard. Hahaha. First girl you've heard that from eh? Hope you can get my sarcasm. Sigh.

Hmm. How the hell do I put what's on my mind, on paper..electronically. Shit, putting it on paper alone is difficult, but electronically? Gosh, what a task.

I guess...it bothers me that, I get really afraid to open up to people. Im really pretty energetic and outgoing and personable, but its this whole..confiding it people and telling people how I feel. But, I think it's way more that that. It feels like an avalanche is ready to trail behind me, like Im carrying excess baggage. As little as I am in size, I'm pretty good with holding pounds and pounds of baggage.

Life has just got me thinking that I want things to be solid. Things in my life are so unsteady. Family relationships not only between me and the rest of my family, but relationships between each other. I tell myself I'm so over that bullshit and their drama and that I need to focus on me and let them work things out, but that cloud dwindles over my head that leaves me needing to hold an umbrella up and be the one, the one who can guard them, and fix things. I don't want perfection, because a) perfection is unattainable and b) perfection if boring. I just want things to be steady. I want things to flow in my life, and family is a huge part. Damn. This makes no sense.

Well. I guess. Alright, here it is. I listen to songs (another cliche' for ya mates) and I think of how great it would be to have that, like a relationship. No, I'm not the needy girl. But, it's so nice to have a connection with someone who thinks of you when they see or hear something. Me and my friend, let's call her Tina, were talking about how that person in your life, that someone, can make such a difference. How that person can make or break your life. I don't mean it in the dramatic sense it is coming across as. I mean it as, if you're in a relationship with someone and it's going great, it can make your attitude and your days so much better, just as if things have gone horribly wrong, it can make your day..make your day, well shit. And I know what you may be thinking..and to clear it up, my happiness is not dependent on a guy. Like I said, its just comforting to have some solid ground with a couple things in life.

Let's bring up Jack again, from my previous blogs. I love him as a friend, though around each other we're usually more. But, I don't want anything more from him. I don't want him as a boyfriend cause he'd be a bad one, with me at least. I want him as a friend and he can't even be that, so imagine. But it hurts, hurts so much that like, he wants me as that call girl. And I'm a huge idiot for getting started with this whole shit. I mean, I really don't mind it in the moment, but I had hesitations at the beginning. What I mind, is that our friendship and hanging out revolves around only that. The other day I was telling Jack that we really needed to hang out before I head off to work at that camp and he agrees, stressing that he needs some 'ass.' This is what I mean by having something solid.

I don't understand how one day, he acts like a really great friend who appreciates me, for me, my personality, my good times and how instantly, in a second my whole perception of him can change by the one thing he says. Its a big thing because that one thing he says, really says a lot about what he thinks.

Sigh. Its out.

I just need some solid ground in my life. Jimmy my insightful friend (hmm, did I call him Jimmy before?) just mentioned to me something about how, if people have a fate, or a destiny thats not to far away, sometimes they've gotta look around before diving into that so called destiny. Whether I believe in all that fate business, it just leaves me telling him that because my life is so unsolid, I end up diving and coming right back out. And you know what he responds with?

"That's only on a cold windy day."

Leave it to him to get me to chuckle.

Thanks for readin mates. Sorry for another, un complex script of my mind.

Cheers ; )

Don't let those dragonflies let you down, and bounce those balls high.

Respect that .

2008-04-29T20:21:00.004-04:00

"Number 77........number 78..............79.........80...."

I went to the hospital with my dad today cause he needed to get a blood test and I well I was just bothered by a couple things. Or, I guess they just stood out in my crazy mind.

Dad had to get a blood test in the hospital downtown, since he had a small surgery there a couple weeks and well we go and I sit down while he goes to the reception to check in and comes back with a number. A black piece of plastic with the number 77 on it. Next to me, there were other patients with different numbers, many of them with numbers before 77. We didn't really wait long, that wasn't the problem. I guess the problem was that it bothered me how patients, rather people were being represented by numbers. I know it is probably more efficient, and all that bullshit, but it all feels so...cold. I mean, in a hospital people feel SO vulnerable as is and to not be represented as people, but numbers makes things so impersonal.

Shit, I don't even think its logical for it to bother me, but I mean it does. And it scares me because because my parents are getting older and as much as I try to be there, it scares me to think how they'll be treated when I can't be around. I don't want these stupid hospital workers poking and prodding at them, and at him, like he's nothing. Sigh. It just really bothered me and I really felt like taking my dads arm and leaving. I guess thats love though right? I just want him to be treated wonderfully. ...

Anyways, I guess I'll tell you about the McDonalds thing. We'll the whole family has been on this new regime of eating, eating better, though as mentioned before, dads the only one who really had to join the rest of us. But, anyways he felt like spoiling himself today, and after a couple months of not eating any fast food, I thought he deserved it. So, we go to McDonalds and from the time we were at the end of the line, to the time where we made our order, there was a group of family (looked like a mother and two older daughters) complaining. Their first complaint was that the burger on their Big Mac wasn't straight. So, the manager gave them a new burger post their complaint. The second complaint was that their fries we're getting "cold" (even though they ate half while waiting for their food), so again the manager threw out their two orders of fries and gave them a new set. Then, they went further to complain that their chicken sandwich was going to get cold if the Big Mac did not get there in 20 seconds. So, of course, they gave them ANOTHER chicken sandwich.

That's two meals thrown out. It just really bothered me how rude they we're to the employees at McDonalds, at MCDONALDS. You get what you pay for and I mean are you seriously going to get angry about a burger not being straight on your bun? They have hands, they can fix it, if they can eat it. And, thats exactly it, they're going to eat it..what the hell does it matter if its not centered. Sigh. I guess its just a huge respect thing and I can't understand how people can be SO disrespectful.

Bah. Those people can go suck a lemon. If I wasn't composed (bahaha) and polite..I would've given them the lemon myself.

Anyways, I know I've been SO undedicated to my blog lately..I've had a lot of things on my mind..er which I guess means I really should be bloggin'..but ehn.

Until the motor stops running, sleep well on that daisy.

And it is...

2008-04-25T16:12:00.005-04:00

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about how growing up things have changed, we've both evolved, gained things; and lost things, and it got me thinking to what one thing I used to have that I don't anymore.

It also got me thinking, that it is really hard to narrow it down to one thing. I mean, I'd love to have the original Super Nintendo, with the Duck Hunt game and the classic Mario game, but I'm pretty sure we got rid of that when I was like..8, maybe.

At this point too, I'd also like to have the old gas prices we used to, back when I was a kid and exepensive would be like 52 cents, but knowing the era we live it now it'll never happen again.

Mmmm. I guess I could say that (as cheesy as it sounds) I kid of wish I still had that family bond I used to. I mean, I guess we, and by "we" I mean my family in general. We're all older now and be being the youngest, Im still a homebody, as much as I can't wait to move out, but my older sisters, kind of have a life of their own, an attitude of their own, and a superiority complex of their own, and I guess I miss being the youngest, and being really young cause those we're probably some of the best times I shared with my sisters.

Stupid things like burrying eachother in the sand, or me being the little sister they play pranks on, or whatever. Adulthood (ugh.) is great and everything with the whole "independence" shiz, but sometimes I want to go back to being like 7, and me and my sisters throwing our own basement fashion shows and fighting over the last slice of pizza. Now, its no fun, we all just give up the slice of pizza to eachother!

I know its a part of life, but sometimes growing up and changing, can suck!

What about you guys? Whats one (even though I obviously put more) thing that you used to have, that you don't anymore?

Alright, until next time mates, don't let them kids eat all the junkfood and wash those hubcaps!

Cheers:)

Hell, no I am not your booty call!

2008-04-23T16:00:00.006-04:00

I am not your booty call damnit!!!

So, there definitely is a story to this that I am obviously going to share, since I'd like to say my identity is a secret and therefore I have no shame. Not that it's anything to have shame about, but well it is just frustrating!! Okay, so I guess I'll give you the history, eww god I hate history.

So, a friend of mine, lets call him Jack (even though I don't think it really fits). Well Jack and I have known each other for about a decade now and well let's just say me and Jack have been somewhat attracted to each other, but have never really followed through, since we both live a couple hours from each other and thus we both don't want to get into something complicated where long road visits are involved, etcetera.

We'll last year, among our seldom visits a year with each other, Jack drove down and us being as broke as we we're just drove down to the beaches instead of lets say, going out for dinner, or coming over to my place where the rents would make things terribly awkward, since well, I don't like to introduce any of my guy friends cause well, its my personal life, the only thing I have left to myself, that they don't know about. I guess thats what you get for being the youngest daughter. Ugh.

Moving on, well Jack decided that that night was going to be the night he made a move, and well, see I get nervous with people I might actually like, rather than...some one I'd meet at a party (oh god, I'm sounding like one of those girls)..okay, but no, I am not one of those girls who'll take home a guy, or go over to his place. Keep that in mind!! So well, after telling him how, well..if something were to happen, he'd better promise it wouldn't make things awkward. Thats, ask-able right? Well, things did get awkward, but thats a completely different story, for a completely other blog I'll never write. So well, I got home at five in the morning and that was the end of that night.

A couple months later, Jack and I, and a couple other friends got a hotel room, and well, lets just say it was a repeat of the car between me and Jack... Fine, I was okay with it. Whatever happens in the hotel room, stays in the hotel room. Now, I was kind of beginning to think that, I really should, well I guess, resist if he makes a move so that he doesn't think our friendship is..all about that. Right? Thats definitely a smart plan, I thought. But, as a woman, with a pretty fly man in front of her, its pretty much easier said than done. But goddamnit I am paying for it now (but, with him ..I totally can't help it!!)

Jack decides to text me the other day..and well, the conversation went like this:

J: Fuuucccck I am bored

Me: Aw, well I'm eating dinner now but I'll try to entertain you when Im done

J: I'm stuck at school with no internet and no tv

Me: That sucks! go for a cruise or something

J: I was thinking of going home but that would cost a lot in gas

Me: Do'er up

J: Yeah but tha'd be the Wuss way out. What's your week look like

Me: My week? A whole lot of nothing

J: You should come and watch me study ; )

Me: Haha, if I drove, I maybe would but you know you probably wouldn't get any studying done.

J: I don't know if this is awkward, but I'd totally come pick you up right now...

Um. Hello. No thank you, because I definitely know what that would mean. I mean, not that I am 100 percent opposed. Well, I guess I am oppossed, in the sense that our friendship isn't just about that. But I mean seriously, SERIOUSLY..I am not your booty call. Now see, I would've probably gone over, had that not clicked into my head. Why couldn't he have said something like...we should..hang out and um go to the movies, and then I'll drop you off home with my urges being contained. Pffft. What am I thinking. But seriously, I = not your booty call. Maybe only when I feel like it..BUT NO!

I thought you guys and gals might enjoy that. Maybe you've been in a somewhat similar position (I hope)..and have any particular and brilliant thoughts : D!

Until the apple seed leaves its nest, squeeze those lemons and fight them owls off!!

Cheers mates.

Green P, saves the day.

2008-04-22T17:15:00.007-04:00

So I definitely have not posted in a couple days. I was going to post last night, but then I got caught up watching Sex and the City (ugh..yes I am one of those girls..BUT only recently). In any case, my life has not been that exciting the past few days other than the odd walk to Starbuck's and batting golf balls in the park with some chums.

I guess today was a little more interesting. The mom and I decided to go down to St. Lawrence Market, which is a little (well not really little) market in downtown Toronto where vendors sell everything from meat to cheese, to jewelry and more meat. Can't complain, I do love my meat and cheese. But anyways before actually being able to go food shopping, we needed to park. Luckily (or so we thought) there was a parking lot right across from the market asking for flat rate of 7 dollars. We decided it was a pretty alright deal, so we parked the car and went to the window to pay. There was a woman who was in charge..and well I can only describe her by one word: Bleep. That's right. Feel free to interpret that bleep in anyway you wish, as long as it has a negative connotation. I thought it might be more fun and creative for you to decide on the bleep then me saying it right out loud. But anyways, here is how the conversation went:

Me: "How much is parking?"

Her: "9 dollarz"

Me: "We'll I only have 7"

Her: (shrugs) "9 dollarz"

Me: "Well your sign says 7, its deceiving"

Her: "It iz not dezcieving. How zee hell is it dizcieving?"

Me: "Um.. well your sign says 7 dollars and you're asking for 9"

Her: "Noh. The zign zays 7.46 plus tax. Where you go where they charge no tax? NO WHERE. Maybe you can go to zee other parking lot if you have a problem"

Me: "Maybe I will."

And I did. And I only had to pay 4 dollars. Thats right lady, if you're reading this, which you're probably not cause you're trapped in your stupid little box with your stupid little attitude, I went to the other parking lot, and paid less than half of what you decided you wanted to charge, thank you very much.

Anyways, so the other parking lot is Green P, which I now love. I felt pretty good too cause there was a lady whose credit card wasn't being accepted by the machine, so I gave her change, a whole 3 dollars. I'd say it was a pretty good Samaritan act. So, we were parked, happy and now it was time to go shop for meat, and cheese, and more cheese. Final tally was 50 bucks worth of food. But let me tell you what we got:

Herb and Garlic Havarti: totally melts in your mouth.

Brie Cheese: mmm..so smooth.

Cream Cheese with Chives: delicious.

Olives stuffed with red pepper and feta cheese: Also VERY good.

Capriollo: haven't tried that one, but dad loves it.

Rosemary Ham: One word: heaven.

Sundried Tomato Turkey: also heaven.

4 hazelnut Truffles: worth the money.

All in all it was a pretty good fetch of food, definitely gonna dig into it tonight, as a midnight snack. Also, I've decided that when I move out of the house my downtown location will be around that area. I wanna be able to wake up in the afternoon, and go get some fresh fruit and cheese. I'll go every week and be recognized by all the little vendors who will know my "usual." That is my plan. OH and also, I've decided that when I do graduate, Im going to Australia to work (my Australian blogger of a friend will like this part). SO excited.

Well I think thats all the interesting things I have to stay.."interesting." But if all of you are in the Toronto area (which first means you would have to be in Canada) go to St. Lawrence Market for some good fresh eatin.' OH and then go to Kensington Market for some good deals on original jewelry, clothing, oh and yes, there are more cheese and meat shops there too.

Until the phone rings, go drink that glass of water and bake a pie.

Cheers mates .

A treat, you'll want to meet.

2008-04-21T22:43:00.002-04:00

Thought I would do something deliciously different. Dads been diagnosed with diabetes recently, so he's joined me and the rest of the girls in the health conscious eating plan and therefore we've of course been making him convert to the whole wheat pasta's, breads, crackers, cereal, low-fat junk food etc etc. This means that we've been eating a lot of salads, which I have to say I am ecstatic about. So today I am showing and giving you the recipe, forwhat I made for my lovely family for dinner, though we did have some steak on the side...but shh. (So, not my style of blog, but Im too proud not to share it = ) )

Summer Spinach and Pasta Salad

This is what you'll need:

A box of Whole Wheat Pasta (you can do white pasta if you want)

4 ounces of feta cheese

1 handful of mushrooms, diced.

1 red pepper

Black olives (as much or as little as you like)

1 bag of baby spinach, chopped up (makes it easier to mix in with the rest of the stuff)

3 table spoons of diced almonds

Balsamic Vinegar

Mayonnaise

Olive oil

Salt

Pepper

1 garlic glove

Boil a pot of water and then pour the pasta in. While the water is boiling, wash your vegetables and begin to chop up the baby spinach leaves. Chop up the mushrooms and throw them in the bowl with the spinach. De-Seed your black olives and throw in the bowl as well, crumble your feta cheese into fine chunks. Strain the pasta upon completion and run under cold water to cool down, since this is a cold pasta salad. Once the pasta is cold, throw it in the bowl with the rest of the ingredients. Next, get a small pan and pour a dash of olive oil, and throw in the almonds, with the stove on medium. You just want to slightly roast your almond slices to give a little ZING to the pasta salad. Once they're roasted, throw them on top of the salad bowl.

For the dressing, I found that a balsamic glaze works best with the combination of food. So you can use your discretion on how much or how little to use of Balsamic Vinegar since it does have a strong taste. But either way you want to mix olive oil (more olive oil than balsamic), with the balsamic, salt and pepper, 1 teaspoon of mayonnaise (to give it a nice creamy coating ability) and a glove of garlic (or garlic powder). Blend it all together, taste it..and you have your dressing. Throw it in the bowl, mix and enjoy!!

diggin through the past.

2008-04-19T16:31:00.003-04:00

Untitled.

We will always love the first one; the one that loved us first.
We say we wont; but we do.
We say we can forget; but we cant.
We say we will, one day; but we don't ever.
Our friends tell us we're better; we are.
But we forget to tell ourselves.
Instead we fall back into our old routine; the first routine.
We hold our hearts close; to them and everything they love; everything we love.
It is a lie we tell ourselves; the belief that we will one day get over it.
We try not to fall; but we fall harder than imagined.
We sing ourselves lullabies to forget the things that hurt; the things we grieve.
Intense emotions ride over us; our common sense.
Try as we may to build ourselves up; but we're broken inside.
We love until we can't love anymore; we cry until there are no tears left.
We breathe until our last breath; but we forget to allow ourselves that pain.
We are not weak inside; but we attempt to justify our sadness as an excuse for our weaknesses.

Hey so, I totally was cleaning out my documents and found this from way back when..and from way back
when I mean from last year. I was a bit of a depresso, but I think its kind of , KIND OF, beautiful in some messed
up way.
Anyways, I know this is kind of like a second post for today, but writting a blog at 2 in the morning doesn't count.
And now that schools over, I can get back to writting blogs during the time owls are NOT out.

Even just 1 hour. ....

2008-04-19T01:41:00.008-04:00

So after a long couple weeks of studying at Country Style, Starbucks, Swiss Chalet and the Library, me and my best survived and made it to the start of our summer. Along the way of course, food and coffee became our companions and our only mean of staying awake and motivated. Among the coffee cups we drank from--which tallied to a couple dozen--and courtesy of Country Style, we had fancy cups with thought provoking sayings; this one of which was my favorite. We pretty much sat there for a couple minutes talking about them, instead of studying. But like I said, this one was my favorite.

I thought about it long and hard when I got home, because at Country Style my response was White Ninja who I completely understand is a fictional comic character, but he totally fits my weirdness and laughs at anything according to his comics..though that might actually mean I'd rather have lunch with the creator of White Ninja. In any case, I thought about it long and hard. I thought first of a famous person that I'd want to have lunch with, and if I had to chose I'd probably say Audrey Hepburn, mainly because she's who I believe, embellishes true beauty and class. But then I thought I'd definitely rather have lunch with someone who meant something more to me, and I thought about my grandpa.

My grandpa passed away when I was two, I think, so of course I really don't remember anything about him. I only know what I've seen in pictures and what my mom has told me. And from what she's told me he really seemed like the kind of person I'd want to re-meet at an age I'd actually remember. My mom loved him to death, obviously and to this day, little things remind her of him, and she always makes a point to tell me about the little things he used to do Things like warming up milk and cookies for her in the middle of the night, picking her up and purting her on his knee, singing to her in the morning. I only wish that I could've seen that, that I could've had that from him. Everyone always has grandpa and grandma stories, and for me, unfortunately I wasn't lucky enough for that. If he's anything like my mom, I'm pretty sure I'd fall in love with him and be that granddaughter who would go and make/eat breakfast (or lunch ; ) ) at his place every Saturday.

From the pictures I've seen, his face has been filled with such grace, happiness and kindness. I remember once that I fell in love with a picture of my mom and him, so much so that I blew it up, with a poem (cheesy, I know) and gave it to her for mothers day. She was all dolled up (I think it was her wedding day) and she was hugging him and his face had the most peaceful smile. He was so proud of her and so filled with joy.

I can't stress enough how much I wish I could've had that with her dad. I mean I love my dad to death, but I think knowing the rest of your family is such a lucky thing to have and for me, the only extended grandpas and grandmas I got to know, was my dad's mom, and now she's passed away too.

I guess I just wish I had him as part of my life. Even for one day. One hour. It would be a pretty sweet hour and I'm pretty sure we'd get along great. It makes it worse too when Mom tells me that he'd fall in love with me, and that I'd make him proud. Though, I guess things are the way they are for a reason.

Anyways, thats who I would want to have lunch with. What about you chums? Who in the "whole-wide-world" would you want as a lunch date ? Ms. Piggy? John Lennon? Your great, great, great grandma?

Until the mind rumbles next, watch the geese and make some toast.

cheers.

Purr-roud.

2008-04-17T18:12:00.004-04:00

Thats right, I am your modern day Diva.

I will ask for BBQ sauce instead of ketchup with my fries, thank you very much.

I do dance in my underwear in my room, in the morning, evening and night.

I will not leave the house without making sure, I feel good and look good.

I do sleep and will continue to sleep until 2 p.m..

I will continue to sing to my radio at the top of my lungs in my car driving down the street.

I am not afraid to challenge your opinion.

I will write things even if you don't want to read them.

I will get EXTRA cheese on my pizza, and bacon to go with it.

I won't call you back right away, but when I do, I'll make sure the conversation doesn't end.

I will mooch as much as I can from the world

I am a little bit of a photo-whore, but just a little bit.

I will make you buy me a drink if you're trying to pick me up

I will shake my groove thing, anywhere, anytime to any song.

I am weird and crazy and I won't change for anyone.....

I do sleep in the nude.

I will use the bathroom with the door open and expect you to not walk in...

and Im proud, of all of it.

Lawfawnda; the beginning of a Diva life, and the end of sanity : )

(So for ya'lls information, I realized that this was a silly little installment, but I was on a bit of a creative high the other night, and what came out was this, and once i started, i couldn't stop)

Love.

Until next time, keep those shoes out of the rain and throw away that pineapple.

the diva within

2008-04-15T16:18:00.007-04:00

The quiet and dark haired brunette had mixed feelings about the Mr. since she had met him only once and that once wasn't under the greatest conditions. But, she was an open minded gal' and she figured with the liquor brewin' inside, she would play it lax and let the night bring its own impression. Arriving at his house, immediately the Mr. welcomed them with hugs and served served them chicken burgers on the good ol' slice toast momma made during the youngin period. With some real Louisiana BBQ sauce and a stomach rumblin' for food, the dark brunette was already feelin better about the Mr.

Popping open some beers, the light brunette laid arm in arm while the dark brunette watched admiringly. She believed that he seemed alright, and figured with some more liquor to the liver them conversations'll be a flowin soon. It was nearing the early hours of the morning and laugher was filling the air, smiles and drunken looks exchanged between the three, leaving the dark haired girl feelin' good, real good. Music videos were playin on the tube and the dark haired brunette was feelin confident.

"This girl right here, can bust out them chops better than that girl any day, cause there's a person within with a booty that wanted to come out" she claimed.

Looking surprised, the Mr. challenged her, taunting that she couldn't. Up for the challenge, she stood up, shook what her momma gave her and sat back down satisfied.

"Damn, that be some booty bustin' out. Ima' think this girl really does have an alter-ego underneath all that,,,,a diva...a diva named......Lawfawnda"

It was perfect. Now that he had said it, she knew it was true. Lawfawnda could hide no longer. He knew the truth, he friend knew the truth and now she knew the truth. The only thing she could do, was be proud and strut her stuff.

And thus, the modern day Diva was born. Lafawnda.

to be continued.....

The secret life of a wannabe diva

2008-04-15T00:41:00.003-04:00

Alright, folks. Ladies and gentlemen, I have a secret. I am a diva in disguise. That's right, underneath this laid back, mellow style, released underneath my skin, is Lawfawnda. That's right. She ain't your average chick. Shes a tall, lean, fightin' machine ready to pounce on your every scene. She's fierce, shes haht, she's all you ever thought, shes the one with the bootay you never thought.

It's true. I do have a diva within, and i ain't afraid to shout it, dance it, or sing it. Without no story though, I presume this'll make no sense. So sit back, grab something to lean on, a blanket, a cup of hot cocoa (for the youngins) and maybe somethin a little stronger for the older shnazzy folks, and get ready to hear a tail that'll blow your mind.

It was nearing the end of a terrific night at the local bar where her and her friends had finished dancing the night away and decided walking drunkenly down the streets of downtown Toronto, would end off a perfect night. Walking down Bloor, hand in hand, they swayed back and fourth in laughter loosing shoes as they went. Their laughter roared in the streets and caught the attention of the gentleman across the walkway Being the fly girls they were, they flipped their hair, paying no attention and headed towards the bus stop. Low and behold a cab came and the taller one said she was going to take it home, while the other two said they'd play it old school and take the public transit system.

Sitting on the curb, knees to their chest, the light brunette got a call from the 'uncertain-Mr' asking if she wanted to come over to his place for a wild ending to a great night, filled with chicken burgers and a 12 pack of beer and of course some hot and heated blankets. Looking over to the short, dark and quieter brunette for approval, they both decided to head on over to his place and disappeared onto the coming bus....

to be continued, in the next blog.

I mean, who doesn't like pie?

2008-04-15T00:04:00.008-04:00

So not that the blogging world misses my amazing and profound blogs on life (sarcasm), but I have been rediculously busy being a student. Well I mean REALLY being a student. Its four days before I finish my last exam, then summer, and only now have I been spending my nights, and early early mornings at the local 24 our Country Style and the University library. Wow, I'd say it feels really great, but its actually pretty sad, but we won't talk about that.

Oh but, do let me tell you about my love for this Country Style. I guess well, I am a Timmy addict, but never have I found a calm place to study, where I can spend my nights over a coffee and some books, listening to some beautiful Kate Nash, Iron and Wine, Elvis Costello and dream about how my marks are going to be soo---- okay wait, wait , wait I definetly can't bs anymore. I really am the worst possible student every and am only kicking it in gear now because, its the end of the year and I've gotta play off that miraculous reputation of slacking, but doing amazingly well..you know (even though I totally don't...but shhh).

But in all actuality I figure my final exam I can at least put in a half assed effort, which actually is turning out to be a full fledge ass effort, which I ain't to proud about, cause I like my ass the way it is thank you very much. But 100 pages read in one day thank you very much, though Im pretty peeved about it taking away from my oh so exciting blogging social life. I mean, seriously..would I rather get good grades and become successful and make millions and have the cutest little kids ever and have play dates with my old highschool chums and dinner tea parties when I become old and grey----or would I rather sit at my computer, stare and the screen and blog my life way?...uh easy...the LATTER ..derrr. Pftttttt, who needs to be succesful?

But again, in all seriousness I really did miss my little baby I've got going. Not blogging for 2 whole days can't happen anymore. Maybe I should start blogging with one linerss, though I guarentee they won't be as good as my buddy whose this passionate fella. I'll be like "Hey 'Jimmy(code name)," and he'll be like "Tough times don't last, tough people do." I'll proceed to compliment him and say damn, thats some uh, profound words there, and then he'll go on saying " Life is like a scale. Balance is needed, in doses." And..I'll be something like "Alllrighttt...there...buddy...Im gonna go wash my shoe." hahah. No, but really he is pretty dandy. I'd marry him if he wasn't engaged..at..21. But , since he is he could TOTALLY right my vowes, I'd pay him..well maybe not in cash, and no defiently not in the way you're all thinkin, more like in the form of pies. Cause I mean, who doesn't lie pie right?

Well, I just have to say I am so excited for Friday to come and go: that way I can clean my room, burn my school stuff and maybe cook a nice hearty dinner for the family...or sleep. Sleeping all day would be glories. BUT, Friday also means that Sunday's a c'min which means a 40 , and 12 pack of Keiths (my lover), a couple movies and an X-large pizza, plus a couple of my closest girls , sittin back and relaxing old school. Once Sunday comes, let me tell you, Mondays next. Once Monday's here, that means my new eating habits come into play. Heck yes thats right. Yours truly is going to stop eating for comfort, the way she ate for comfort during her exams. No more hamburgers with bacon...covered in cheddar jack cheese with a diet coke and a frosty chocolate milkshakeeeeee ..wow. Totally almost went into a food coma.

But I can promise you one thing, one Friday rolls around, you won't have to hear about my life, well actually read about my life if we shall say. Instead I'll get back to writting about profound things like the children next door who stare out their windows at my cat.

Until then I hope those beds are made, and those breakfasts are eatin.

Cheers mates, (totally want to be australlian)

Hi my name is Facebook

2008-04-12T16:07:00.006-04:00

" Hi, my name is Facebook and I am probably THE larges social network on the internet. Myspace has got nothin on me! Course I cater and focus to high school and college/univeristy students, but lately I've got some hot brawds and older pimps makin their profiles and showing me the love. Hey, I have to say though, I REALLY don't mind. I mean, I've got some cougars jumpin at me, tellin all their friends about me, then they come into the circle and its like one big orgy party.

Anyways, before I get even more excited about them ladies, I've gotta brag about the millions of users all over the world that are a part of me. I'll tell you though, Im wayyy to cool for school. Pfftt, everyone would much rather look at me then at their lectures.Though I guess before I get even more self-righteous, which I am thank you very much, I'll tell you that I know everything and anything about anyone and anywhere. These people that are under my power, TOTALLY spill the beans in their little "notes." OH and in their events they post/attend, which I of course know about, means that I can TOTALLY go to and meet some more ladies.

Oh and DAMN, pictures can't forget them. No we can't. Pictures of ALL kinds. Pretty sexy I'd say. I'd say Im a pretty lucky fella. I've got strippers posted on peoples pages that I have VIP access to, none of this bullshit "can't see that, cant touch that" like you'd see in the strip clubs. Im too good for that. But I mean, seriously...I get to see people at their worst and at their best, drunk off their heads, hyper off the hizzie, in bathing suits..DAMN. I tell you, if I ain't a pimp, no one is.

So I've definetly got the inside scoop, the popular factor, and of course I'm a millionaire. I've got thousands of companies using me to try and get just as popularized, but I don't mind cause Im gettin' the cashola baby. Seriously though, millions of companies want their adds all over me cause Im THAT popular and they pay me shitloads. I mean do you know how much it costs PER second? A crazy amount that I GET. But thats top secret agent information. I love my power.

Oh and applications, hell what can I say about that. I mean, course they make my game a litlte slower, A LOT slower actually. I mean, I'll load Candy's page (my # 1 stripper picture on facebook) to stalk her a bit, but then she'll have all these applications that she keeps adding, from other people who keep uploading them onto my mainframe. Anyways, it'll take minutes upon minutes to load her page...and I kind of get jelous that all these random people have a part of them on HER page...but so long as I load her page and get a few seconds in, Im good. I don't really need that much time, get in and get out if you catch my drift ; ).

Anyways, like I said I my name is Facebook and I am a part of your life, your friends life, yeah even your pets lives, so get used to it cause I'm just that popular. Oh and while you're at it, on me I mean ; ) , remember that I'm watching your every move, and so is everyone else. But thats okay with me, cause I am JUST that popular. "

Hope you liked my little satiracle (can I call it that?) blog on Facebook. I do love fb don't get me wrong, but I mean it really is crazy how out of hand its getting. Leave me your thoughts.

Anyways, until tomorrow, put that hat on and go dance outside.

Cheers.

Face the consequences

2008-04-11T18:20:00.004-04:00

I just watched a video provided by MSNBC news regarding 8 teens that were charged in Florida for videotaping the kidnapping and beating of a fellow classmate. Apparently it started due to a comment posted on facebook about members of the accused that lead them to kidnap her video tape and proceed to punch, hit and beat her. According to MSNBC, the first blow to the head knocked the victim unconscious which after the accused proceeded wake her up only to continue the batery. Questions around how they will be charged and what they will be charged for are circulating, but the charges currently stand as:

1) Batery

2) Witness Tampering

3) Kidnapping and

4)'other misdemeanors.'

The courts say they will be charged as adults but whether the charges will go to trial or into some sort of settlement has not been decided yet. According to state law, the kidnapping charge could lead to a life prison term, witness tampering five years and batery up to one year, but no one expects that the life sentence would actually occur. The girls who participated in the crime were ages 14, 15, and 16. One of the MSN reporters argues that the judge has discretion to make it a juvenile charge and that one of the things that could lead to that would be that it could be considered "a fight between girls" since the accused were upset about something the victim wrote on facebook. According to the videos posted on MSNBC there is the possibility of some of these girls released on bond: 30,000 dollars in monetary bonds, plus all the teens would be placed under house arrest, unable to attend their current school, unable to contact the victim or her family and they'll have restricted access to the Internet. Since many speculate that there will not be any sort of jail sentence, debates about whether releasing on bond would be a slap on the hand, or a real learned lesson. That's the story MSNBC is providing, I hope that I got everything important down, but for now I have to say how disturbed and shookin up I am about this.

I do not, I can not understand why people would want to inflict pain on others and I can not believe that these teens taped it as if they enjoyed the whole process. It disgusts me to think that facebook can lead to something like that. In NO case, other than maybe self-defense, do I think that it is right to cause physical harm to someone, ESPECIALLY over a comment posted on facebook. The 6 girls and 2 boys that participated in the beating definitely have some issues that need to be addressed, and I do not think that setting them out on bond, and under house arrest is enough of a repercussion. I definitely also disagree that a life sentence, or even a jail term would suffice because I believe that its way more important to address issues within the individuals themselves. Obviously they have something wrong with them that makes them think its okay to beat, kidnap and video tape someone in the process and therefore they need to be addressed. I definitely think rather then throwing them in a jail setting that would just keep them barricaded they need to enter into youth programs, anger management programs, community service, maybe a juvenile delinquency center. Whatever the repercussions are, they need to target the problem areas within the individuals themselves. Either way I think the whole think is f'd up and the victim will never forget the emotional scars they inflicted on her.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24067427&GT1=43001 thats the link to the video and article. Let me know what you all think about it. I warn you though, its pretty unsettling.

Update...again?

2008-04-10T19:31:00.002-04:00

So I've been pestered by all of these updates my computer has been demanding me to do. I figure they might be why my computers been running slow, so I also figure its a great opportunity to clear up my computer, maybe do some defragmentation (which I am very happy to have learned about, all thanks to one button). I thought perhaps I'd run an anti-spyware program, the one I never run..came up I had 200 critical objects. Tsk tsk. Can't let it get that big anymore. So after I do all that computer junk, again done easily by the click of a couple buttons, I figure I'll get cracking on those updates. Let me tell you though. I never knew how many god damn updates I actually had pestering me. The first was Windows asking me to do some computer updates...Microsoft updates I think. So I'm thinking heck why not. After a couple seconds I see

"....initializing update...1/3 ....complete!"

"....initializing update...2/3...complete!"

Just when I think I'm in the clear, and ready to finish this update, it goes on bitching about how I have to insert a CD..something about...an XP service pack. I mean c'mon, I'd say I'm relatively computer savy...but I can't even find this one CD? I know I have it somewhere, but where, I definitely couldn't tell you. I go on asking my dad about it and hes nagging on about how I can't take care of my own business.. (I thought to myself..when did my computer become a business) anyways he goes on giving me some of his "wisdom" and "advice"...and says "look for it, it'll be in the last place you'd look i bet." WELL DUH. If i found it, then I wouldn't have to look anymore. Wisdom? I call that common sense, thank you very much dad.

Anyways, so I have this update bothering me about how I don't have the CD and I figure it can't be that important, so I continue along and they tell me "In order to complete the update process you need to restart your computer: Restart Now or Restart later." God damnit, all I want to do is finish this update ASAP and get back to my itunes listening. Course I wouldn't care about the restarting, but my laptop takes about a century to shut down. So whatever, I figure I'll restart. 20 minutes later Windows is up and running again ..only to warn me now that Adobe reader (when the hell am I gonna use that? ) wants to update. So I'm thinking, fuckin eh, I've been putting this one off on ignore for a couple months now, I GUESS I'll get it over with. So I wait and wait....10 minutes later, success...its updated. Oh but wait, they want to bother me again..and make me restart my computer AGAIN! I figure I might as well take a 20 minute nap this time.

20..minutes later.

Im thinkin alright, I've got them out of the way, time for some good o'l facebook and some itunes. So naturally I open up facebook and go to this "Who has the bigger brain" game, which is ridiculously addicting, and that of which I've of course played several times. Today though, they're like..."You need to install the newest version of Flash player. Easy enough. Two down, what is one more. I go to the link they direct me to, click on "install" , click on, enable Active...bleh bleh...and wait. They say it'll take a couple minutes and then you'll see a movie, and that's when you'll know its done. So I wait, and wait some more. No luck. 10 minutes..20..minutes...30 minutes..it is still installing. Im thinkin "seriously?" So i decide I really want to play that game..maybe it'll work if I uninstall the current Flash Player on my computer and then re-install. So thats what I do, but now I've gotta restart for any changes in my computer to be effective..says Windows. So I do as they follow..20 minutes later...computers up and running..10 minutes later Flash is installed. HO YEAH! Success!

Course I play the game for a while now, gotta get back in that 4th place I was..figure I deserve it after all that hard hard work installing. But i decide that I want my itunes music instead of the games music, so I open up itunes excited to play some Kate Nash and The Shins..but I'll be damned, itunes wants an update. Isn't that surprising. Course I install it hoping it'll be the last thing I'll have to update. I never knew a computer could have so many gosh darn updates They should just have a whole "update package." Though it makes me wonder how cool it would be to be able to update all parts of your life.

"update my car"

"update my dog"

"update my house"

"update my job"

"and god damnit update my spouse"

If only eh?

Well Im sure I'll be back tomorrow, hopefully with no more updates to mention, unless of course they're about my life ; ). Until then, leave the cheese in the fridge and grab the jerky!

Cheers.

Almost

2008-04-09T14:26:00.000-04:00

Springs definetly here, and I can smell summer coming, I can almost see through the walls into blue clear sky, just a couple more trecks of school. It's definetly pretty exciting. For the record todays definetly a better day, realizing after looking outside, that life is pretty grand. Summer plans have the child in me wanting to come out, skip around the lawn, maybe climb the monkey bars. Totally seeing the greener side of things. I've decided that this summer Im gonna be an enthusiast about things, meeting new people, going new places, seeing new things. Its gonna be great. GREEAT.

I'm going away for the summer to work at a camp, which is pretty stellar. Get to work with some pretty special kids, and meet some pretty special people. Course Im lookin forward to the counsellors too, I mean shirts offf, tans exposed, shades a'stylin, it makes for pretty great eye candy ; ). Total chick I am, I can't lie, but theres definetly more to me than what its coming across as. But before I head off to work, Im looking forward to downtowning in in Toronto and exploring what the city has to offer. Going down to Queens Park and laying on the picnic tables with a book, definetly doesn't get better than that. OH and definetly having a visit to Eggspectations down by Eatons Center (A must, for those who haven't gone there).

We'll looks like I really should be off to finish this studing for this lame exam on Friday, but for those of you who are in love with music like moi, you definetly need to listen to City and Colours new album Bring Me Your Love; and if you do, you'll totally notice it has inspired much of my blog : ) .

I can smell it coming....

Until then, c'est la vie!

Cheers.

Sensible Heart?

2008-04-08T23:24:00.000-04:00

It is not as though, I want to date him, I mean I’d definitely love to be with him and by be with him I mean, in his arms, his nose touching mine, as cliché as it sounds. I love feeling his heat and him feeling mine and I love his arm round my back and my hand stroking his. I love the whispering, the locking of the lips, I love his smile. Ha, and I love the way I kiss him with my eyes open, and the way he bites my lip when I tell him not to. And I love the way we pull our covers over our head so that no one else in the room hears us. I sound as though I want to be with him and I mean part of me does but I don’t want it to be understood that I’m in love with him or anything.. I just love what he does for me. I want to say I love person he is, but then I think and I wonder, and I’m not sure that I do. I just wish I could have him on call, to hold me, to like feel that body heat, for him to Eskimo kiss me.

I tell myself--ha ha--that I am so not attached, but that is so a lie. I’m attached in the way that..I want to come home and have him there to be like, get over here girl, and then he’ll hold me and whisper sweet nothings but I don't want a relationship.
I guess my thoughts get lost in a cloud when I think I think about what he’s thinking about. Here I am listening to music, and all I can think of is the last time we were together. Or when I’m lying on my bed and watching TV, I think how much better it would be to just be there with him. It’s more or less I want to know what he’s thinking. I mean when we’re together, I want to know that he’s thinking I’m great and that he’d not be anywhere else. I wanna know if I am that person he thinks about when he's in class or at home. Part of me is thinking, maybe it’s just an excuse to get some ass. But like I know he really does think something great of me, but I just want to go to sleep at night, knowing he’s thinking the same thing. Not that we want to be exclusive, but that it would be really nice to be with her, just like I think it would be really nice to be with him.
I've obviously had an insane amount of mixed feelings about him, as can be noticed in this blog, with the things he's done like inflating his hego (male ego) and being distant, and crapping out on plans and not saying the things I want him to say. But I mean, the good times definitely out way the bad, if it’s fair to say. I mean, it’s not like we’ve had either a lot of good times or bad times. But the bad things, at least what I’ve been upset with, I let him fix them with the way he looks me in the eye, and calls me 'hahht'. Hah. It’s just funny you know, how you can get so close to a person, without being a part of their whole self.
I guess I just want to know that someone thinks of me the way I think of them, because it tears me apart to sit and question all my thoughts. I know I should trust the way I feel about him, and the way I think he might feel about me, but my heart and head intertwine and cross roads and just mess everything up.
And I hate being that girl. That cliche' girl who can't get her feelings straight and does not know what she wants. I don't want to be that girl that cries over a guy that isn't even hers or is ever gonna be hers. And as much as I am that girl, I don't want to be that girl that writes blogs over a man.
I guess its a part of life though right? I mean, if lovin was that easy, and life was a straight road, everyone would be at the end with smiles on their faces.