Rythmic Dillussions

And it’s weird because the power of music illumines feelings in me that nothing else or anyone else ever could. On a constant basis I’m listening to my melodramatic tunes; feeling the vibrations in my head; letting the words linger throughout my mind and body; on the bus, at home, in the car—the music follows me everywhere. It has and continues to be a space where I can feel however I want, think what ever I want and be whoever I want. I believe it’s fair to say, that music fills each of us and transpires into a million different meanings at different points of our lives

needIt scares me when I realize though, the power music has over me. How it can prompt the emergence of tears, of laughter, of empathy, of sorrow, of excitement and of craziness—and by craziness, I mean the times I breakout in dance moves in front of my mirror; that’s right, no shame.

to It’s every so often that I find a song that shakes me to the core. Today it was “Ballerina” by Leona Naess. Unless you want your mood to drop, don’t listen to it. It’s a beautiful song really, just a little gloomy, yet somehow I can’t turn it off. My life—well lets just say it’s a little ironic in the way it works; in the way I work; in the way my head works. When people are feeling down, they’ll usually fill their heads with the musical vibrations of happy sounds—the likings of Andy Kim’s “Sugar, Sugar” and Debra Cox’s “Beautiful U R” –and the many more that I currently can’t recall. For me however, it’s quite the opposite.

yellFor this city girl, it’s mellow music that I would rather, that I need to listen to in order to get through whatever the hell I’m going through; which on a weekly, daily and hourly basis can be what I seem to think is a lot—mostly concerns with the missing and broken pieces of my life’s puzzle.

out It definitely sounds like I’m depicting my life is a tragic life story; it really isn’t. It has its great parts—the parts I am so thankful to have and the parts that lead me to turn on my gangster beats in appreciation. But everyone longs and wishes for what they can’t have; and everyone hopes and dreams that things come to them sooner than later, and I’m no different.

loudTruly though, what I’m getting at is that it jolts me that I can’t find an answer to why we feel such a special connection to music. It’s relatable to everyone—which is the simplest and only answer I can come up with. Any other views and answers that I’m missing out on? One thing I know for sure is that I definitely wouldn’t be able to get through life without it.
someIt’s a bit of a dangerous object though I think. It manipulates us, breeds actions and adds both unnecessary and necessary larger-than-life effects to daily events. For example, in films where individuals are on their deathbed and hand in hand with their loved one sitting beside them, the scene becomes ten times more effective when Enya’s “Only Time” comes on, than it would be without her soothing sounds. The music combined with images captivates the hearts of viewers and causes their tear ducts to emit uncontrollable tears—at least for me anyways. And in reality, something that can seem so little like a small and meaningless fight between friends can turn into something with much more of an emotional effect when you turn on a mellow track before bed.

placeIf life had a soundtrack, wouldn’t each action of life seem more—for lack of a better word—epic? Your first step; your first dance; your first successfully baked pie; your first rainy day kiss; your first child—would all prompt the perfect song to be played filling the space surrounding you in each of those larger-than-life moments.

to Music becomes a space where your heart accelerates its beats and where your fingers can tremor in life’s emotions. It’s a space of freedom and creativity.

call There’s an immense amount of beauty in music; in its words, its melodies and its rhythms—that is no lie. It can transpire into whatever you want it to be; it can relate to the best things of your life one day and the worst things the next.

mineIn essence, I guess part of me just loves the mysteries and power that music holds. Sometimes I wish I could be the main character in certain songs; where things always work out four minutes later. But for now, I think I can deal with taking my music in stride and being just an average city-girl.

Leave your impression: Here.

I was up north the past couple of days, the area to be kept a secret, but I went up north to hang out with him and his friends. Being a city girl, from one of the busiest, nosiest and cluttered cities in the world, the "country" was definitely a nice relief. 

It made me remember just how beautiful Canada actually is. We would like drive through valleys and mountains and be surrounded by trees and rocks, and all I kept saying was "Wow, this is gorgeous." Course I think I came across as a little lame, since I was amazed by trees...but it is because you don't see nice big clusters and mountains and hills of beautiful, green, tall, pine-y smelling trees in Toronto. What you do see is random, rotting trees strategically placed to create some sort of attractive look, which is far from what it displays. Anyways, I was amazed by trees, and hikes and water this weekend and it really made me remember what I miss out on. 

Anyways, the trees were so nice, but I guess this blog is more about first impressions. I met all of his friends this weekend, and when I say "all," I mean all. They were all really nice. Jimmy, I had met a few years ago but only for about 5 minutes, and since then have been like really good MSN buddies. He's that smart insightful guy I've mentioned a couple times in my blog. But anyway's I met him for the second and a much longer time this weekend..and I guess with him and the rest of his other friends, Im wondering what kind of impression I made. 

First impressions are actually very scary. I mean, they told me they really liked me, even before alcohol got involved, but I guess the question I have is: How can you be sure that the first impression you make, is the right one? 

Friends are like a really important part of keeping something going, and I just want to make sure that I can fit into his life. Like with Jimmy, there in the flesh it was a lot of fun and I felt like we clicked really well, just as well as we clicked on MSN. Mind you, alcohol was involved so I don't know if that played a part. But then I didn't have the most enticing conversation with him yesterday, like we usually do. That could be because he left the cottage at like 5 in the morning to work at 7, for an 8 hour shift and thus was tired. But I still wonder if that in person, first real impression changed anything of what he thought about me. 

Jacks other friend, Katie added me on Facebook, which I guess is a good sign; right? Even still, how do I know that it was a good first impression? Furthermore, why am I so propelled to impress his friends?..

I tried to play it pretty cool. At first I was a little shy, didn't really involve myself in their conversations, but then as I felt more comfortable, I began to like open up, and I felt like I was within their group of friends. Even still though, I wasn't as crazy as them in terms of jumping in the lake at odd hours of the night, mainly cause of my own insecurities. 

But I just hope they thought I was as nice as I thought they were. Other than wondering about my first impression, I had a blast. Up north is just so....cute. 

Cheers mates.