So, there definitely is a story to this that I am obviously going to share, since I'd like to say my identity is a secret and therefore I have no shame. Not that it's anything to have shame about, but well it is just frustrating!! Okay, so I guess I'll give you the history, eww god I hate history.
So, a friend of mine, lets call him Jack (even though I don't think it really fits). Well Jack and I have known each other for about a decade now and well let's just say me and Jack have been somewhat attracted to each other, but have never really followed through, since we both live a couple hours from each other and thus we both don't want to get into something complicated where long road visits are involved, etcetera.
We'll last year, among our seldom visits a year with each other, Jack drove down and us being as broke as we we're just drove down to the beaches instead of lets say, going out for dinner, or coming over to my place where the rents would make things terribly awkward, since well, I don't like to introduce any of my guy friends cause well, its my personal life, the only thing I have left to myself, that they don't know about. I guess thats what you get for being the youngest daughter. Ugh.
Moving on, well Jack decided that that night was going to be the night he made a move, and well, see I get nervous with people I might actually like, rather than...some one I'd meet at a party (oh god, I'm sounding like one of those girls)..okay, but no, I am not one of those girls who'll take home a guy, or go over to his place. Keep that in mind!! So well, after telling him how, well..if something were to happen, he'd better promise it wouldn't make things awkward. Thats, ask-able right? Well, things did get awkward, but thats a completely different story, for a completely other blog I'll never write. So well, I got home at five in the morning and that was the end of that night.
A couple months later, Jack and I, and a couple other friends got a hotel room, and well, lets just say it was a repeat of the car between me and Jack... Fine, I was okay with it. Whatever happens in the hotel room, stays in the hotel room. Now, I was kind of beginning to think that, I really should, well I guess, resist if he makes a move so that he doesn't think our friendship is..all about that. Right? Thats definitely a smart plan, I thought. But, as a woman, with a pretty fly man in front of her, its pretty much easier said than done. But goddamnit I am paying for it now (but, with him ..I totally can't help it!!)
Jack decides to text me the other day..and well, the conversation went like this:
J: Fuuucccck I am bored
Me: Aw, well I'm eating dinner now but I'll try to entertain you when Im done
J: I'm stuck at school with no internet and no tv
Me: That sucks! go for a cruise or something
J: I was thinking of going home but that would cost a lot in gas
Me: Do'er up
J: Yeah but tha'd be the Wuss way out. What's your week look like
Me: My week? A whole lot of nothing
J: You should come and watch me study ; )
Me: Haha, if I drove, I maybe would but you know you probably wouldn't get any studying done.
J: I don't know if this is awkward, but I'd totally come pick you up right now...
Um. Hello. No thank you, because I definitely know what that would mean. I mean, not that I am 100 percent opposed. Well, I guess I am oppossed, in the sense that our friendship isn't just about that. But I mean seriously, SERIOUSLY..I am not your booty call. Now see, I would've probably gone over, had that not clicked into my head. Why couldn't he have said something like...we should..hang out and um go to the movies, and then I'll drop you off home with my urges being contained. Pffft. What am I thinking. But seriously, I = not your booty call. Maybe only when I feel like it..BUT NO!
I thought you guys and gals might enjoy that. Maybe you've been in a somewhat similar position (I hope)..and have any particular and brilliant thoughts : D!
Until the apple seed leaves its nest, squeeze those lemons and fight them owls off!!
Cheers mates.
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6 comments:
I like your blog- some good reading when you're bored. Feel free to check mine out!
nope... ne-ever been in a situation like that.... my life is just way too... boring.. ah well...
Well, according to me respect is a very important thing. So, whatever leaves you with respect for yourself is good. If not, I just choose to put a stop to it! =) There and then!
What's a booty Call ?
I've been in a somewhat familiar situation. Except he lived further away, invited himself to London whenevr he felt like it and I always let him. Bare in mind we were going out for a couple of months before I moved. Never saw him all that often, maybe once a month. Played it cool. He was the one who started calling me. And he was the one who always got in touch. Then SOMEHOW the roles kinda reversed! This went on for over a year when I finally asked him what was going on.
We don't speak now...
@ buttercup: aww, thanks! I did check out your blog. stellar
@ brat: you're life is way too interesting to be boring
@qps: respect is definitely so important to me..its just so hard when feelings are attatched, to like pull away.
@secret blogger: I don't want it to get to the point where me and him don't talk, but I can't even bring myself to tell him how it bothers me that thats what he thinks its all Im good for
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